Deeper Than Snow

I woke up this morning like most of you probably did; thinking where do I start? If you are buried in snow like most of us on the east coast then you were wondering where and how to start digging yourself out. If you were in Florida, California or somewhere without snow then you probably asked yourself the same question but about something else.

We always want to know where and how to start, will we ever be able to finish, how difficult will it be, will we be laughed at etc. It’s a broken record at this point but we need to just get up and do it. Whatever it might be.

People asked me “where will you start?”. They said I should think about paying people because it’s impossible to single handedly shovel 2 feet of snow alone. “It can’t be done”, they said. I even doubted myself. I came up with a million excuses - my bad shoulder, the cold, the amount of snow that’s out there, the fact that I have a garden shovel that’s half of the size of a real snow shovel. Excuses that upon further review made no sense. You don’t even use a shoulder to shovel; it’s more so bicep and wrist. Yes having a small shovel would make it harder but you’re not always going to have the proper resources or help to achieve your goals. Should that stop you? No.

I put aside the doubt and went out there. Yes it was difficult. Yes I slipped once or twice. But the more I went the more my body adjusted. I learned strategies that made it easier and faster. Soon I even began to enjoy the shoveling. Two hours later, I looked up and I could see the driveway and walkway again. It wasn’t pretty, but I got it done.

In life, you can either get up and shovel or it sit back and watch those who have clear driveways.

Winter Wonderland And More

Three new videos. First one explaining my project Winter Wonderland which is coming in a few weeks. Second one is previewing the intro track to the project. Final video is announcing and explaining my move to New Jersey.

Besides YouTube, these vids are on quite a few sites and the feedback overall has been very positive, especially in regards to the music, which obviously will sound a thousand times better once recorded and mixed…..I don’t think people quite understand the move yet…that’s cool because I don’t quite understand it yet either.



A Few Months Ago…

I believe it was October - I was driving home at about 6am after a very long night. I was close to home when all suddenly I heard a car horn then opened my eyes just in time to steer my car back in the right direction. I apparently had fallen asleep, turned on a wrong street, and was headed towards parked cars. Crazy right?

The crazy part is how someone just happened to be driving at that time, saw me sleeping, and had the presence of mind to beep his/her horn to wake me up. Also crazy is that I was so tired that I was on a street I had no business on; my house was two streets away.

The moral of that for me (other than not to sleep drive ever again) was that sometimes we’re headed towards trouble without knowing it and the least likely sources can be the ones to help us avoid it. Normally a person honking their horn at you is considered rude…..in this instant it saved my life.

Not getting a job, being dumped, missing a plane, and any other percieved shortcoming can sometimes be a blessing in disguise. Seems like a very cumbaya-ish way of looking at things but that’s what this life is all about - perspective.

LOST

I know I’m cheating by writing stuff here and then posting here but hey, what can I do? This site and that site attract two different types of readers but some of the content can be appreciated by both. Whichever you read, thanks.

I’ve never been big on these TV series’ that air once a week. Takes a lot of dedication and effort to be in front of the TV set at the same time each week and then sit through commercials, then just as the episode gets good, they cut to commercial and tell you to tune in the following week…aka torture. Luckily for me and through the power of Netflix I was able to watch ABC’s LOST (All 5 seasons) over the holidays. In a span of 2 months I covered more than 100 episodes and it was a great experience. What added to my experience was the fact that I knew nothing about the show for the 5 years it’s been on the air so to me it was brand new.

The synopsis is basically this: A bunch of people from various walks of life are flying from Australia to Los Angeles. Mid flight something goes wrong and the plain begins to descend. Ultimately they crashed on an island and that’s where things get crazy. We’re introduced to a doctor by the name of Jack, who assumes the leader role on the island. We meet Sawyer, a foul mouth, sarcastic, country pretty boy who calls everyone everything but their real names. John Locke is the elder in the group. Then you have Kate, the eye candy/tough chick of the group.

There are several other main characters that crashed on that island and overtime each of their stories are revealed. Basically what kind of lives they lived prior to boarding that plane. Although most seemed so normal to the naked eye, several of them had been through near death experiences, murdered people, alcohol and drug abuse, there’s even incest in the first few episodes of the first season. If all of this sounds crazy it’s because it is. LOST is about real life but at a very fast pace. They hook by showing the characters good sides as well as bad. You begin to learn not to judge people so quick and understand the motives behind certain actions. You see them problem solve as it becomes apparent that they may spend the rest of their lives on that island. You see them find creative ways to enjoy themselves like playing golf with clubs that were found on the plane. It’s pretty much about life, it’s complexities, and surviving and making the best out of them.

I’d give the first 5 seasons of the show an A-. At times the fictional aspects got a bit corny to me at times but not too much. It was done in the same sense that rappers rap about their “real life” but say lines like “money taller than the Statue of Liberty”. A little stretching of reality to drive home your point never hurt no one I guess. Overall LOST is a great show that I’d recommend to anyone. If you’re really focused you can watch tonight and catch up on most of the first 5 seasons over the next week. Your children would probably starve and you won’t pay rent but it would be worth it.

Sidebar: How sick are they for using Sade’s “Soldier Of Love” for the trailer? Her album drops a week after the premiere. The kind of cross promotion that would make Nike execs proud.

Chances Are You Don’t Need To Read This But….

Let’s talk. Can we? You know, the way we used to do.

First off let me start by saying I enjoyed last nights GRAMMY awards ceremony. As an artist myself, a Grammy is our equivalent to a Super Bowl or NBA Championship. Unfortunately with the latter two, it’s all about your performance, where as with the Grammy’s, your faith lies in the hands of voters who could be wrong. Nonetheless it was a good show. Very balanced and filled with great moments. I personally liked the performance from Dave Matthews Band, the Green Day performance, Solange Knowles’ son’s speech, or lack thereof, Michael Jackson’s tribute and Jamie Foxx’s performance.

What made Jamie Foxx’s performance standout to me was the fact that he shared the stage with his sister who suffers from down syndrome. I’m sure the jokes poured in from several angles, especially online where an ‘lol’ or an ‘lmao’ is worth putting down another human being – that’s another story. What I’m getting at is that Jamie Foxx, amidst all his peers is not afraid to show the world what’s really important to him. Yes he likes to party, probably loves his sponsors, enjoys the company of a groupie from time to time but last night with just that simple move, the man showed character and courage. I applaud him.

Fear
That’s the elephant in just about all of our rooms. Ever wanted to do something but never quite got around to it? Procrastination you probably called it. Maybe even laziness. That could be the case, but more than likely it was fear. Humans are creatures of habit. Life shows us on an hourly basis that we can’t predict it but yet we try on a minutely basis to do so. We want to know what will happen, when, why, and how. In the absence of those answers, fear seeps in. Then the only way to avoid the perceived danger is inaction – not doing that thing that we want to do due to fear of the unknown.

I’m a fighter of fear. A lover of it, in the sense that I see fear and I go towards it. I say “hey fear what’s up? ain’t seen you in awhile. you think you’re gonna stop me from doing this, think again.” Then usually comes society. You know, your “friends”, friends, “family”, family, “team”, team, so on and so forth. The ones who really have their own personal best interest in mind as well as those who have yours. They indirectly or directly give you advise and suggestions that nurture that fear. That turns a small whisper to a loud echo in your head saying “don’t you dare try. you will fail. they will laugh. hahahaha.” Dare to ignore their misguided warnings and these friends, family, and team will look at you strange. You’ll possibly be labeled one of the following: Rebel, idiot, crazy, psycho, spoiled, immature, lazy (how ironic right?), angry, dreamer. They will support their advice with citations of history – telling you of times when others have failed.

My friends, please, don’t ever let fear guide your actions. Ever. I’m the embodiment of what happens when you wake up everyday and fight fear. I’ve done so since January 2007 and I’ll continue to do so for as long as I live. Now some would say, “who the hell is Phella to be giving this kind of advice? is he rich? is he successful?”. My answer first of all is that it’s not advice. I’m anti-advice. I may give suggestions, what I believe to be wisdom, knowledge, but never advice. I don’t know who’s reading this and what situation they’re in. To advice them would be silly. Secondly, no I’m not “rich” or even “successful” by the 2010 societal accepted definition. But yes, I am rich as hell and successful as hell by my own definition.

I have lost everything I ever thought I wanted and gained everything I truly needed in a matter of years. I worked so hard to please certain people, get certain things, go certain places, only to find out that those things weren’t even what I wanted. What I really wanted was THIS! Who I am today. Unfortunately and fortunately, I took the scenic route. The scenic route is good though, assuming you live to tell the story, you’ll see lots of things that will help define you when you arrive at THIS! Speaking of which, THIS isn’t a final destination – it’s fleeting. Meaning that you have to fight to keep it. Secondly, it’s lonely. You find yourself everyday trying to get others to join you, hence me typing this free write at 7:30AM. Most will shun you. Some may even react violently and accusing you of trying to change them. Change? Improve? Learn? Grow? God forbid we do that. We were born to stay the same, right?

I’ll Let My (Unofficial) Big Brother Tell It…Part 2

My homie is on a roll these days. He speaks, people listen, most criticize, I sit back and smile because I feel 100% the same. I’ve idolized a lot of people in my day but no one quite captures my emotions the way Mr.West does. Read up.
kanye-rant

Blackberry Molasses - Mista

If you watch you will notice the lead singer of Mista is who we now know as Bobby Valentino. I think if he stayed in this Anthony Hamilton-esque lane he would have more longevity in his career. Songs like this are timeless. “Beep, Beep, Beep”? not quite.

Pick A Direction…Then Go

nogointersection

Sometimes it seems going right is wrong, going left is wrong, going straight is wrong, and we all know for sure that turning back is wrong. However, stopping isn’t an option either. Slow down maybe, but never stop. So I’m about to just pick a direction and live with wherever it takes me.

Sidebar: Sorry for being so vague. Can’t really go into much detail with stuff in this new version of I Am Phella.

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Hope you enjoy your visit into my world and take from it something that you can use in yours.