I’m an old soul. Been one since I was born. If I had my way I’d probably have been born in the 70′s or something.

But, maybe this isn’t so bad after all. I started writing this because I was reflecting on how a lot of my peers and close friends are living their dreams and doing so many positive and exciting things as they figure themselves out in this world. In the process, these people are advancing culture, making a better world and building careers and legacies.

They are designing clothes, creating and performing music, writing blogs, capturing moments on camera, organizing great events; the list of things is endless. Some, like yours truly, are even daring to do all of the above. If I see a need for something and I’m capable of doing it, I’m probably gonna do it. A lot of my friends feel the same, some are just at different stages or have yet to figure out how to allow their circumstances to work for them. But as long as the intent and effort is there, it’s going to come with time.

At one point, most of us were just out for fame and fortune. We just wanted money and shiny things, and to be known. We wanted what we saw on TV during the golden era. The golden era, for those not in the know, is that era most of us 80′s babies came up in when it seemed money was being handed out to whoever wanted it. Ferrari’s, Lambo’s, MTV Cribs and such is what we went to bed thinking about and discussed the next morning at school. Then the video chick got introduced to us and all of us guys wanted one, or two, or three.

Somewhere along the line though, we may have not completely lost those desires, but I think they’ve given way to realer things. The happiest we see Jay-Z is when he’s with his wife. Puff’s last album, Last Train To Paris, was front to back about how life without love is nothing. His Twitter page is half promotion, half positive energy. Kanye West unfortunately lost his mother and split with his girlfriend and welcomed all of us to heartbreak.

We’ve seen a lot of the other guys who had it and put too much stock in it, lose it. Gravity has caught up to most of them and the re-po man has towed away the vehicles they would’ve used to escape. The big ass jewelry now not only looks silly but it’s been sold a long time ago to keep up with house payments. That one house. The blogger chick who walks around with a camera and uses her creativity to direct videos now seems more appealing than the video chick who gets $500 per, and that’s when she can find work.

Not only has the appeal for such things died down but so has the cost of things. Some of the dopest fashion now can be put together for under a grand. A quality music video can be shot for a lot cheaper than you think (shout out Fresco and Matt). VIP ain’t the same no more. There’s more people there than in general population. A photo with a celebrity? We all have them now. Still cool but not the monumental thing we once thought it was.

On the flip side, have you listened to music lately? It’s awesome. And most of it we’re getting as gifts; not having to pay a thing. Have you seen some of the photos these kids in SoHo take, or the words some of these aspiring writers put together? True inspiring and thought provoking work is being handed out for free. Guys who used to risk life and limb on the street are now able to apply that same hustle and savvy to build legal empires. Girls who thought hoeing was the only way to get attention are realizing that letting the diamond in their head shine is how you get real quality attention.

If you told anyone that a boy from Riverdale Rd would be 24 now and still yet to sip a drink or use drugs, they would have said “impossible.” I’m not supposed to be vegetarian. I’m not supposed to go to bed early and wake up early to workout. I’m supposed to at best, be 300lbs driving a Navigator, dropping off some whatever to such and such then coming home to play playstation while shorty heats up the wings and fries. That was the life we aspired for and to anyone living that life, I salute them. Can’t even knock it. But I now know there is better.

At worse, I’m supposed to be in the grave like all the ones we lost or the countless others who are staring out a small window wishing they were free. Either that or living a life molded for me by a society that never took my measurements. But I’m not. Exposure has allowed us to see our worth and the endless possibilities we have.

Please don’t call me a hypocrite next time you see me in VIP or if a Ferrari drives past and I say I want one. Or if ever you see me smoking or drinking (which you probably won’t). I’m not knocking anything, I’m all for it actually. Matter of fact, a popular video model stared me down viciously at Whole Foods the other day and it was the highlight of my day.

What I am talking about here is value. I may have enjoyed her stare but took it no further and didn’t place any real value on it. If this had been some years back, I woulda done anything to get her to give me some play so I could talk about it. Now that such things hold no real value, at least not to me, I put my hat down lower and continued scooping my pineapple rice and samosas.

The value of real has gone up. People living truths and telling truths are at a premium. It’s cool to be who you are and do what you want. No pressure to do anything harmful or negative. Change if you want. Stay the same if you want. And I believe that is the essence of freedom.

But call me crazy.

We live in a day and age of rhetoric. Everyone wants to say that next thing that will be quoted or gain cool points. The thing about rhetoric is that it works better when you know what you’re talking about it. When you feel it. When you live it and will die for it. Short of that, it’s just more rhetoric. No matter the amount of exclamation marks or cool font you put behind it. Same with spoken words — shout it, swag it out, chew extra mints if it makes you feel better — those words still mean very little without true sincerity and action behind them.

I know a lot of people who like to be lied to. They live in a made up world and become uncomfortable around truth. You ever speak to someone for hours and not gain a thing? Like after the conversation you don’t feel like you’ve grown in the slightest way? I’m not about that life. Those conversations can be extremely draining so I try to stay far away from them. It’s like staring at great art that’s been destroyed. Very hard to look at because you know it’s not how it should be. You know it could be better and if you’re like me, you hate being cheated. I want to see my mother at her best. Same with my brother, same with my girlfriend, same with those I work with, same with even my living room. I want everything at it’s greatest or at least on it’s way there.

Let’s joke and have fun, but most importantly, let’s grow. Let’s be better. Tomorrow we enter the third month of 2011 and I just encourage whoever reads this to be 100% about what you speak. Talking is wonderful. Communication is necessary 4 the growth process but not as necessary as action is. Even with the best written speech, Dr. King would have been just another dreamer if he didn’t March first.

**** Like how I tied that all in? Last day of Black History Month? Dr. King? March First? never mind…..

Peace & Luv

The story is this: About three weeks ago when I was still on crutches and my now almost healed foot was still in pain, I got someone to give me a lift to Subway — you know their veggie patty sandwich and salad is what I survive on. I went in and placed my order and just instinctively — I guess to dead the silence — I asked the owner (old Indian guy for what it’s worth) who was making my food “how’s business?” and the guy lit up.

Business was bad and he openly admitted it but his expression would have suggested otherwise. He blamed it on the snow and possibly the holiday; this was around or on New Years Day. Even though business wasn’t the best, my two-word question seemed to make the man’s entire day. He was all smiles and as he made my food he suddenly took interest to who I was and how I was doing, asking me how I injured my foot and giving me advice on how to heal faster. I paid him for the veggie patty, we both wished each other a good day, and life went on.

That whole transaction was probably 10 minutes at the most and I’ll probably never see the guy again in life but for those few minutes I like to think I made an impact on his day and vice-versa. This was a Subway in the HOOD “hood” where our tendency is to be as unruly as possible to people who serve us; not to say unruly behavior doesn’t exist outside of the hood because it may be worse with rich folks. We all speak on how rough times are and how society is going down the drain. I think it’s only right that we do our part — however small — to at least try to slow down the process. Just putting the pause button on your life for a second to press play on someone elses can make all the difference, for you and for them. It’s good business.

As people with pride, limitations, and resources that aren’t endless, we tend to have a threshold for how far we’re willing to go to get what we want. We all have that point where “enough is enough”. You’ve courted her for a year and she still won’t budge. You’ve applied 6 times, each time with an improvement to your resume and they won’t call back. You’ve done every workout known to man and that last bit of stomach refuses to tuck itself away. So now what, you stop trying?

There are two schools of thought on this. There’s one that says we should all know when to say when. There comes a point you have to be realistic and accept a situation for what it is. Some thing’s just aren’t meant to be. Then there’s the idea that if you want something, you go get it. Do whatever it takes. Expend every single resource. Go till you’re breathless. Throw pride and caution to the wind.

Myself personally, I subscribe to the latter; but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t understand the former. How can Steve pursue Laura for so long and be turned down by her day in day out? How didn’t his little Urkel pride kick in and say “grow a set man”? I guess that’s just how bad he wanted her. He was willing to try for the rest of his life if he had to. That’s TV. In real life, there comes a point where time catches up with us. Finances catch up with us. So many factors kick in that make it very difficult to continue trying. I think that point is called “The Dip” according to author Seth Godin.

“The Dip” is simply about when it’s time to push harder or when it’s time to quit. According to Godin, “winners do quit and quitters do win.”

I think what I’m trying to say is that only you know when you’ve hit a “dip” (the point where it seems it’s time to quit but really what you need to do is push harder) or when you’ve hit a “cul-de-sac” (the point where no matter what you do, there is no progress to be made). Winners are those who can quickly identify “the dip” from “the cul-de-sac” before it’s too late. Life is full of obstacles and roadblocks. If everything we wanted came so easy, we wouldn’t want them; that’s just the way it works. My inclination is that we don’t choose those things which we should pursue relentlessly; they choose us. It’s a feeling thing. Logic will no longer be applicable. You’ll feel like to give up on this thing would be to lose a piece of yourself. Life would no longer be worth living. At that point, you just gotta keep trying.

Happy……New Year from Da Fam Cam on Vimeo.

Taken from a RealTalkNY commenter:
“That’s what happens when you try to be a rapper….and throwing up jay-z signs in games…no rings..hehe. While you’re throwing up dynasty signs, and at clubs and dinners with Jay-Z…you know what Kobe is doing…lol Working on his jump shot and fade aways…to sink’em in your face Lechoke!!”

That’s kinda harsh but it’s the truth. No one is saying don’t party but to be the best you gotta put in the best work.

I love LeBron though. Maybe he doesn’t want to be the best and that’s just the public’s expectation for him. Maybe he’s content just being “one of the best”.

I’ve been down with the Lakers since Shaq left. Always been a Kobe fan but I became a full blown Laker fan once him and Shaq split. Kobe was the underdog. The most hated man in America. The guy who threw it all away over ego. I’ll admit it’s been rough. One year we didn’t even make the playoffs. Other years the Phoenix Suns sent us home early. But through it all the team continued to focus on winning. Continued to climb and make adjustments when necessary.  The end result is hoisting up the trophy tonight in Orlando.

Congratulations to Kobe, Congratulations to Phil, and Congratulations to the Lakers.

Pardon the corny line but it’s the best I could come up with on the run. Good things just keep happening to me and the people around me. I’m thankful. Let’s keep it going y’all.

And to those who think they can stop it, I’ll tell you like 50 Cent: “This is God’s plan homie, this aint mine”

Laker Vs Nuggets…Not Quite Courtside from Da Fam Cam on Vimeo.