Tag Archives: World Saving

Don’t Disturb This Groove….

Posted on March 26, 2011 by phella| 1 Comment

So you know I have no issue with being honest on here. This is my platform to say whatever is on my mind with very little filter for as long as I know what I’m saying to be truth. Since I’m convinced I’m a pro athlete trapped in an artist and businessman’s life, iamphella.com is my equivalent of the media. Twitter and Facebook are the short interviews before and after games, this is a stone cold sit down with Stephen A. Smith, Michael Wilbon, Magic Johnson or whoever you choose. The type that usually happens when something very good happens or when there’s something to clear up. I’m not sweaty from the game…I’m in my Da Fam Inc warm up attire..chillin’. Ready to answer some questions.

Now that you have the scene, let’s begin. I came into this year with an extreme focus that I’ve probably never had in my life. I’ve probably been locked in more before but that was usually on individual tasks such as losing weight, gaining a ton of knowledge, making a certain amount of money, whatever. This year’s focus was very holistic and team oriented. From my family family to my Da Fam family to everyone who knows me and considers themselves part of my life the message was simple: We’re going to win this year and that’s it. No other option. No other choice. If you have an excuse why we won’t, keep it to yourself. If you doubt, go far, far away. If you’re ready to help me, let’s go. I’ll help you in return.

Just naturally, based on the laws of the universe and laws of attraction, once I took my cast off on January 14th and began to at least limp towards these goals, the successes of this new focus began to trickle in. You can almost say we started the season off with a 10 game winning streak. Obstacles were non existent, good art was being created, good business was being conducted, and personal life, what little exists of it, was in pretty decent shape. This hot streak carried on through February and started to kind of dwindle around early March but still going. Lost a game or two but overall still on fire.

Then came the test. “The test” is when you don’t have rusty teams coming into your arena anymore and you’re starting to experience some injuries on your own team. (Just so I don’t lose anybody, injuries in this case refer to the wear and tear of trying to build something; fatigue, stress, setbacks, jealousy, egos, etc.) Opponents now see that you’re about business and they’re giving you their best shot every night. No problem though, right? We’ve been here before. You practice all off season for this.

Life can be hard. Business can be hard if you approach it from the wrong perspective. Creativity, especially the selling of it is tougher now than ever before. Maintaining any kind of relationship (friendship or romantic) has always been hard and now social networking and such things make it that much more difficult. NO FREAKING PROBLEM. All sound like excuses and reasons to not win, and remember, we don’t allow those.

So I do what I know best when I feel things need to be rectified, I play. I play hard. I disregard the playbook, the system and begin taking shots from every angle possible. Teammates are winded and can’t make it up court? no problem. Stay back there, I’ll go one on five. Girl I’m interested in isn’t showing the same interest? no problem. Don’t show interest, I got five others who are interested. Revenue stream slows up? no problem. Got other ways to get it. Someone doesn’t have time or can’t do their job right? no problem. Give me a day or two, I’ll learn it and do it. Those statements are huge problems. They are problems because they come from a negative place and “the groove” only works from a positive place. The groove comes from unity and togetherness, not separation and individuality.

Don’t get me wrong. It’s good on occasion to do certain things to remind yourself and others about the “fierce urgency of now”. It’s cool to express disappointment when you feel yourself or someone else could have done better. But it’s not cool to be so focused on the win and the end result that you take away the enjoyment from yourself and others. You create an environment that becomes counterproductive to the end goal. It’s one of the finest lines to walk for anyone who has ever led. Whether you manage the night shift at Wendy’s or you founded Facebook. Achieving goals while allowing room for error is a skill you must learn or risk losing it all.

I say all this because the groove is still there. It’s going nowhere because I won’t let it. That’s just plain and simple. But the groove has been compromised with several losses in my personal and professional life lately. I take losses hard. Especially when I feel like I’m giving it my all but that’s a bad way of looking at things. Everyone of us is wired differently and consumed by different things so therefore your definition of “all” is probably different from the next person’s.

You shouldn’t take losses lightly but it also shouldn’t change your character. Motivate. Encourage. Lead. Don’t antagonize, stifle, and become an “uptight control freak” as I was called earlier this week.

That said, there is a slight separation between business and personal. Business is business. To me business is sports. If someone claims to be about winning, I need to see a winning effort from that person or my natural instinct is to feel they ain’t really about that life. Times are hard right now. If you aren’t giving your all to your craft or your investment then it’s questionable as to if you really want to succeed.

Personal is a bit different. You can’t be so cutthroat and business-like. I guess that’s where I become my father’s son. He is and was extremely cutthroat and business-like with family and it cost the poor man dearly. I don’t want the same to happen to me so I’m sloooooooooooooooowly learning to check my basketball attitude at the door. Personal can’t be equated to wins vs losses. It’s a matter of growing and progressing. Allowing people to be who they are and still being there for them if ever who they are causes them to stumble.

Enough with the mushy stuff though. It’s 6:30AM. This past week was a week full of losses that I simply won’t allow to ever happen again. Every championship season has it’s tests. That was mine. That was ours. Now let’s get back to winning if no one has any objection. I wanna be able to title my next entry “How Phella Got His Groove Back” or at least “How Phella Finally Got A Haircut”.

Peace & Love…or should I say Love & Basketball. I’m out.

 

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March First

Posted on February 28, 2011 by phella| 1 Comment

We live in a day and age of rhetoric. Everyone wants to say that next thing that will be quoted or gain cool points. The thing about rhetoric is that it works better when you know what you’re talking about it. When you feel it. When you live it and will die for it. Short of that, it’s just more rhetoric. No matter the amount of exclamation marks or cool font you put behind it. Same with spoken words — shout it, swag it out, chew extra mints if it makes you feel better — those words still mean very little without true sincerity and action behind them.

I know a lot of people who like to be lied to. They live in a made up world and become uncomfortable around truth. You ever speak to someone for hours and not gain a thing? Like after the conversation you don’t feel like you’ve grown in the slightest way? I’m not about that life. Those conversations can be extremely draining so I try to stay far away from them. It’s like staring at great art that’s been destroyed. Very hard to look at because you know it’s not how it should be. You know it could be better and if you’re like me, you hate being cheated. I want to see my mother at her best. Same with my brother, same with my girlfriend, same with those I work with, same with even my living room. I want everything at it’s greatest or at least on it’s way there.

Let’s joke and have fun, but most importantly, let’s grow. Let’s be better. Tomorrow we enter the third month of 2011 and I just encourage whoever reads this to be 100% about what you speak. Talking is wonderful. Communication is necessary 4 the growth process but not as necessary as action is. Even with the best written speech, Dr. King would have been just another dreamer if he didn’t March first.

**** Like how I tied that all in? Last day of Black History Month? Dr. King? March First? never mind…..

Peace & Luv

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400 Degreez

Posted on February 4, 2011 by phella| 1 Comment

I never wanted to be famous, not even popular. Not even remotely known. Just wanted to get messages out, inspire people to be better and possibly profit from it in the process.

Those are the loudest thoughts going through my head as I write this 400th iamphella.com post. It’s been 3 years now and I sincerely thank you all who read what I write…thanks for sticking with me through the droughts, the highs, the lows and the in between. Thanks to those who left and came back. Thanks to those who are new. Thanks!

I’m far from famous and that’s the scary part. If I’m already feeling too known and too on the radar at this point, what’s going to happen as we go further? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for every fan, friend, and follower I gain; without that, these words would mean nothing. However, I wish there was a way to get my vision out without having to attach my name or face to so many things and so many people. I know the day is coming but it can’t come soon enough. I just want to make change in the world (using artistry, athletics and literary work), put change in the pockets of those I love, buy a few nice things and ride off into the sunset — only to be heard from when I absolutely have something useful to say.

I just feel like the world, in particular the young entertainment world, is so loud. Just noise everywhere. Everyone trying to out- “cool” and out- “grind” one another. So few actually cool. Even fewer actually grinding. Attention seeking is at an all-time high, regardless of the price we have to pay. I can’t blame people. We’re currently more lost than human beings have ever been. On a minutely basis we have all these things being thrown in front of us that distract us from the main goals in life. Even the most focused man or woman will occasionally give into the temptation…this week alone I’ve strayed from my eating habits twice, slept way past my 5AM wake up time all five days of the week, failed to make enough time for my spiritual practice and served my own interests far more than I did anyone else’s.

I guess I never realized just how bad it was because I’ve been in it for so long. But after two relatively noise-free months, to suddenly find myself conference calling while driving across state lines, while updating statuses is a reality check as to how crazy things can be. And like I said, this is just pre-game. The further into this year we get and with the hard work myself and people around me seem like we’re about to do, the calling, driving, and status updating only increases from here on out.

It doesn’t help that I’ve watched my favorite movie, “Carlito’s Way”, a few times. For those that don’t know, I’m convinced that minus a few differences, that character is me; that’s why I jokingly call myself Phellito sometimes. Basically a guy gets out of jail and swears to live a clean life; all he needs is to get his girl, get some money, and disappear to paradise. Unfortunately for him, he gets caught in a web of betrayal, not knowing who is who or what is what. Despite the change in mind frame, he’s still surrounded by people and things that bring the very kind of trouble he’s trying to escape. What can he do? It’s all he knows. That loyalty to “friends” and inability to completely separate from all things bad cost him everything. For me it won’t. I’ll say peace out to all worldly things before I allow myself to succumb to the pressures of them.

All that said, check out my latest videos (www.youtube.com/dafamcam), my two updated websites (www.dafaminc.com) & (www.dafamink.com), add me on Facebook: Tobi ‘Phella’ Alli, Twitter: @Phella. Damn.

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What I Seen Made My Life Change

Posted on January 27, 2011 by phella| Comments Off

Something not so light that I wrote at my other writing home earlier.

As Malice Of The Clipse aka Gene Thornton prepares to release his book, “Wretched, Pitiful, Poor, Blind and Naked” to the world, I feel it’s an oportune time to share with you my Clipse story and why Malice’s video blogs and forthcoming book are so important to me. It’s part journal, part exposé, and part persuasive essay as to why you should support his latest endeavors. Other than being a fan and the ecnounters you’re about to read, I’m not affiliated with Malice or the Clipse in anyway. Just sharing my story and my thoughts as always.

Many moons ago (2006 – 2007 ish) I was a 19 year old guy fresh off of “dropping out of school to rap”, or so THEY said; I think THEY know now that my plans were far beyond that. I was young, to an extent angry, frustrated with the conditions my family was living in, unhappy with who I was inside and ready to do whatever 4 what I thought would make me happy, money and fame. That down 4 whatever attitude took me places I didn’t belong, doing things I had no business doing. Enter the Clipse.

I’ve never been a fool and I know that 91% of what most rappers deliver is simply fabricated jargon that they hope the masses will buy into. Some guys know in their hearts that some of it is destructive and misleading but continue because they have to feed their family and I can never knock that hustle, it’s just not for me. What was for me was the truth. The Jay-Z’s and the Clipse’s of the world. There’s a certain feeling you get when you’re dealing with authenticity that just can’t be replicated when dealing with less than authentic. People whose stories you really identify with, even if your story isn’t exactly the same.

Jigga man was a bit before my time and a bit over my head in the sense that when he was at the height of talking his fly stuff, I was about ten years old and at that point unexposed to just how real it was. But now it’s 9 years later, I’ve been exposed, and I want in — not for cool sake but like I said, I wanted to change living situations and change them quick. I hadn’t developed the foresight and guiding light that I possess these days. Blissful ignorance had kicked in and taken complete control over me.

So life is pretty good at this point. I’m in my Chevy doing the damn thing; enough to be able to change living conditions without being on anyone’s radar and I got the perfect soundtrack to keep me going, the Clipse’s music. In my mind, they were me and I was them. Dudes that could easily rap circles around anyone with a microphone but would rather find other means of surviving than to be bothered with the circus the music business was becoming. So with my Gucci sneakers, gold bracelet, and Polo everything, I was determined to follow in their footsteps. Luckily for me, things came crashing down quicker than I ever could have imagined. That, coupled with some reading, some soul searching, and an Obama speech that I attended, I no longer wanted to be like the Clipse; I wanted to be me.

Still I remained a huge fan. HUGE FAN. I ran into Pusha T a few times and began to tell him how I had this big vision for the Clipse and to get them the recognition they deserved. Keep in mind that at this point I had a job within the recording industry and I wanted the Clipse to be my main project. I fought for it like I do everything else that I obsess over. Pusha gave me some time of day but he probably knew that a guy named Kanye would show up years later and get him his proper shine. Their road manager, Steven Victor, was more interested in telling me about his latest BMW acquisition than anything I had to say about working with them. Kyambo “Hip-Hop” Joshua was extremely courteous but he’s freaking Hip-Hop; when you’re priorities are Roc-A-Fella, Lil Wayne, Drake, and Young Jeezy, some 20 year old kid named Phella with his Clipse dream goes to the bottom of the pile, naturally.

Success didn’t come until I tracked down the Clipse’s other manager, Geezy. This was the man to talk to. Unlike everyone else, he made an actual attempt to hear me out, even calling me one day while I was driving and listening to the Clipse. I turned it up and said to him “See, I’m not fronting. I’m a real fan”. He chuckled and then we continued conversation. Discussed everything from their then new clothing line Play Cloths to what kind of records were best for them at that point. I was my typical self when motivated; talking way above my head and selling Geezy a dream he couldn’t refuse. We hung up with plans to continue another day, but that day never came.

I woke up one beautiful spring morning to read on AllHipHop.com that Geezy, real name Anthony Gonzalez, was facing an 82-count Federal indictment. My heart sunk. Not because my Clipse connection was going away and with him, probably my only chance of ever working with them, but because a man who I had spoken to over the past month, who showed me the utmost respect, who is a father, was being put away. Whether he did what he was accused of wasn’t for me to judge or even care about. It was just a sad day and  I felt for him, the brothers, and everyone else affected.

That same morning, I resigned from the music industry company I was working with and decided to start Da Fam Inc back up. Starting my company meant getting back to music and getting back to business. Around the same time, Malice of the Clipse was releasing these very spiritual video blogs directed by some people called Illusive Media. The messages in the videos really resonated with the transformation I was going through and the way the vids were shot were so impressive that I got on the phone to Illusive and said I had to work with them. A few trips to VA later, a price quote that was way above what I could afford, and a sold Chevy later, I paid Illusive and we got our video.

The video was great, but even greater was the experience of working with those guys. They pretty much have done everything media related for the Clipse and had great stories for days about the group, about Geezy, about Pharrell, about everything. To prove how small the world is, I would later run into Malice’s son (an artist in his own right), Fame, at a studio session. He looked, sounded, and behaved just like his pops and was another good person to meet. I was impressed that a celebs kid could be that humble; even helping me with a few of my songs hooks.

I say all this to say that when the book drops on February 14th, it’s one that anyone who enjoys reading what I write should probably check out. I have no clue what’s in it but judging from all the videos leading up to it, I can only assume it’s similar to the thoughts I try to share daily. About not chasing cool or riches. About finding ones self. About being true. About hitting rock bottom before you can know what the real mountain top is. About belief and faith. About repentance and forgiveness. That’s just if I had to take a wild guess though. We’ll find out soon enough.

-Phella

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“How’s Business?”

Posted on January 26, 2011 by phella| 2 Comments

I’ve not really had any cause to write recently. Anything I said would have just been shameless self-promotion which I try to limit on this blog; I have other ways to promote my selfish interests and business endeavors. That’s besides the point though.

The story is this: About three weeks ago when I was still on crutches and my now almost healed foot was still in pain, I got someone to give me a lift to Subway — you know their veggie patty sandwich and salad is what I survive on. I went in and placed my order and just instinctively — I guess to dead the silence — I asked the owner (old Indian guy for what it’s worth) who was making my food “how’s business?” and the guy lit up.

Business was bad and he openly admitted it but his expression would have suggested otherwise. He blamed it on the snow and possibly the holiday; this was around or on New Years Day. Even though business wasn’t the best, my two-word question seemed to make the man’s entire day. He was all smiles and as he made my food he suddenly took interest to who I was and how I was doing, asking me how I injured my foot and giving me advice on how to heal faster. I paid him for the veggie patty, we both wished each other a good day, and life went on.

That whole transaction was probably 10 minutes at the most and I’ll probably never see the guy again in life but for those few minutes I like to think I made an impact on his day and vice-versa. This was a Subway in the HOOD “hood” where our tendency is to be as unruly as possible to people who serve us; not to say unruly behavior doesn’t exist outside of the hood because it may be worse with rich folks. We all speak on how rough times are and how society is going down the drain. I think it’s only right that we do our part — however small — to at least try to slow down the process. Just putting the pause button on your life for a second to press play on someone elses can make all the difference, for you and for them. It’s good business.

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Dr. Phel: Relationships 101

Posted on January 9, 2011 by phella| 3 Comments

This truly is 101 because I’m far from a relationship expert. Just my thoughts at the time. Read with caution.

Keep This On The Hush

I’ve written a lot of blogs on this site since I started back in 2008. I’m actually approaching #400 any day from now. One subject I’ve tap danced around but never quite locked in on was relationships. This site is just a mirror of my life so it makes sense. In my day-to-day to life, I rarely ever discuss relationships. In fact, my mother has only met or known of one girlfriend of mine in all my 23 years. Same with my close friends. Reason: Relationships (the real ones at least) are complicated. Telling other people about them only further complicates things. In the event of a fight or disagreement, people in your corner are likely going to tell you to leave. They feel they’re job is to protect you so they say “leave him” or “leave her” before considering the whole picture, because it’s impossible to give them the whole picture…unless they’re heart surgeons.

Women especially love to discuss any and everything about their relationships with whoever cares to listen. I think that’s why a lot of them tend to be so indecisive, or as it was put in the movie ‘Baby Boy’ — “Unstable Creatures”. Shirley, Charlene, & Lequisha that does your hair can’t all have a say in your path. Chances are you’ll end up walking four different ways. As for me, it’s just natural not to go into depth with anything or anyone. I keep my life very guarded while coming off as very open (it’s a difficult task to pull off but I practice it a lot). Only in music and on this site am I able to speak as freely as I would like to. If someone, even my best friend since 7th grade, can name 3 girls I’ve “dated”, I’ll give them a million dollars.

Today’s Date Is…

The word “date” always sounded funny to me. We didn’t really say that where I grew up as an adolescent. We didn’t do it either. You met the opposite sex at school, if you’re sneakers were nice enough (male), or your body was good enough (female), you met up somewhere (during or after school) and did what you did. Wasn’t until I went away to college that the idea of dating came into play. And even then it was so foreign that it took me awhile to warm up to it. I still didn’t part-take but I at least now understood it. Here’s what I gathered: Dating is when single people meet other single people and hang out to explore the possibility of it one day growing into a romantic relationship. Over the course of dating, they usually decide to become A) Friends B) Friends with benefits C) Call it off D) Pursue something longterm. “Simple enough — but still, what???????? Me? Waste my time and money? Just pick a random person and go out with them? Yeah, right”; that was the old me talking.

Like everything else, I did further research and learned more and eventually understood it and embraced it. Even began to lightweight date. Had fun too. Actually had a lot of fun. The concept of meeting a woman, getting to know her, making her feel special, and then going our separate ways made all the sense in the world now. Still, I couldn’t call that dating because there was zero chance of it ever becoming a real relationship. I guess what I’m saying is I don’t believe you can choose a person randomly and have it turn into anything longterm. The most that can lead to, in my opinion, is fun. Real relationships I believe happen when you meet someone by fate and you know instantly that they’re it. If you need to go to Olive Garden or Red Lobster a few times to “evaluate them” then that’s just playing the sport in my opinion. Nothing wrong with the sport but it’s not quite the same.

Easy As ABC

Now onto the main event. Pay attention. Person A meets Person B. They fall for one another. A and B feel they’ve found “the one”. They’re going to spend eternity together and things are going to be beautiful. Problem is that Person B at one point felt this same exact feeling for someone else and obviously it never panned out. Even bigger problem occurs when Person B is still hoping-praying-wishing that they’re original Person A will come back one day. That leaves the new Person A in a tough spot, especially because he or she is so deeply gone that the thought of another Person A existing seems ridiculous.

So Person B continues to lead Person A down this path of “we’ll grow old together”, not out of any malicious intent; this is really how B feels. But B also is holding onto thoughts of the original A. Eventually Person A finds out that B is just not really into it as he/she would like. Heartbroken or feeling played, A decides it’s time to move on. Move on? Yeah, right. A is just now becoming the new B and whoever he/she is moving onto (we’ll call that Person C) is just becoming the new A. The cycle goes on and on until someone is conscious enough to realize it and work hard to break it.

“You can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first” (c) Joe Budden. From Motown to Prince to half of Drake’s catalog, the idea of being with someone who isn’t fully with you has been well documented. It’s a vicious ugly cycle that I feel has made the “dating” scene a place where the scorned scorn others and the hurt hurt others. Ever just know someone is yours till you call them one night and they don’t answer and never call back? Or they go a month without calling you or checking on you? All likely side effects of dealing with someone who isn’t really there with you. They’re avoiding you because they like or even love you but they also like or even love someone else. Force the issue and you risk finding out something that you may not be able to deal with. Best bet is to let them go and if they return, it’s up to you if it’s worth trying again. It takes a very mature and strong person to let go of the past and completely embrace and appreciate the present.

Whatever you do, don’t consciously be Person B. There’s some bad karma coming your way for that. To lead someone to think they have a chance with you when you’re emotionally detached is not the way to go. I know it’s not easy to tell the truth either; after months — maybe even years, how do you say to someone that you’re really just not into them the way they think? I don’t know the answer to that. I guess just keep ignoring their calls and giving them excuses why you can’t meet up tonight until they get the hint.

Peace & Luv

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Happy New Year

Posted on December 31, 2010 by phella| 3 Comments

Most of us say “happy new year” because that’s what gets said when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st. Rarely do we breakdown those three words and think of what they truly mean. Happiness is what almost every human being desires. We all have different ways of acquiring it, but you can’t deny that we all want it. For the past three years I’ve worked tirelessly to find the meaning of true happiness, practiced habits that make me happy, and eliminated or refrained from habits that could make me unhappy. It’s been a successful journey and 2010 really proved just how successful it’s been. Just about every “bad” thing that could happen to a human being happened. Life hit me like a ton of bricks several times. I saw people I loved go through things. Several times I felt alone. But the habits I practice, along with the faith I’ve developed gave me so much inner peace that unless you REALLY read this blog, REALLY listen to my music, and REALLY know me, you would think 2010 was a perfect year — which, all things considered, it probably was.

I don’t have any new year resolution. I did, however, make a list last week of things I want to do better in 2011. I’ve already started practicing them. One goal is to be more quiet. I can’t speak for anyone else but I personally learn more about myself and hear the universe better when I’m quiet. Our world is filled with so much noise and distractions that even the most focused person can easily lose sight of his or her purpose. I’m trying to become a better man and a better professional and in 2011 I simply can’t afford even a day of losing sight of my purpose.

I hope all my friends, my supporters, my fans, and even my family will be able to adapt to and accept this new version of me. I think everyone will enjoy the results but few will like the process. The process involves a lot of alone time, a lot of phone-less days, a lot of opting out of frivolous social invites, a lot of ignored text messages, a lot of cold stares when you’re in front of me, a lot of dead silence when a laugh would be more appropriate. I don’t wanna call it “being in my zone” because that’s too cliche. Instead I’d rather call it “the maturation of Phell Z Z” (what’s a Phella blog without a spin-off of a Jay-Z line right?).

I’ve learned over the past month just how serious life is. It’s fun as hell. It’s great. It’s a blessing. But bones do break. People do die. People’s houses do burn down without warning. Love does get lost. Friends and family do show true colors at the times you need them the most. Those you thought were your heroes turn out to be people you had no business respecting. Bill collectors do want their money. Licenses get suspended. Rent money is due whether or not you spend a day in the apartment. And that’s just my life over the past 3 weeks. Now multiply that by what you’re going through, then multiply it by what those you care for are going through. That’s how serious life is.

Add that on to the fact that my mother and brother, along with the few other people that I feel I owe are long overdue for all the great things I’ve been promising. Plus the fact that I’m dead serious about settling down with one woman and raising healthy and happy children as soon as possible, and now you might start to see why this year is one that requires extreme focus and attention. Like my manager/friend Kunle who just left here said: “this is the year when everything matters”. The way we walk, talk, eat, dress, etc…It all matters and all will affect the end result.

Please remember that I’m still the same old guy you know and hopefully love. I’m a people person, I love living, l love enjoying, I love helping, I love loving, I love everything good in the world. But the fierce urgency of now is far more evident to me in 2011 than it has ever been and for that reason my approach to the game will have to be a bit more business-like. Just to remind myself how serious it is, I’ve put myself on this ten day fast where no food is allowed. I haven’t eaten a single thing since Sunday night and I have five days to go. The fast, my ability to endure it and resist the temptation of eating, and the good results that are coming from it; all are going to serve as my references for how I want 2011 to operate…so help me God.

Roll with me…bare with me…do what you know is right…have no fear of letting go of what you know is wrong…keep striving for better…attach yourself to causes greater than yourself…never lose faith…never accept anything or anyone that goes against your beliefs…try your best to choose peace over conflict…always choose love over hate.

See you on the other side.

- Phella

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A Better Day: Take Two

Posted on November 23, 2010 by phella| 1 Comment

Let me start off by saying my last blog entry was absolutely horrible and I apologize for that. I really didn’t say anything and the little I did say came off as gibberish. Either I rushed it or I forced it. Either way, it won’t happen again.


Complacency
Complacency. We all have suffered from it before. It’s when you accept what ‘is’ as opposed to striving towards what ‘can be’. I’ve spent most of November back home in the DC area and when I’m home, I have this Rec League that I play basketball in. I had been playing very lack luster recently and finally last week I decided to take matters into my own hands. I worked out hard every free moment I had. I did boxing for foot and hand-eye coordination, wind-sprints for speed, distance running for endurance and stamina, and of course, I shot baskets endlessly. The end result was a sight to be seen. I went out there last Wednesday and shot the lights out! From every angle of the court I was pouring in jumpshots. When I wasn’t doing that, I was dishing out assists and leading my team to victory. That’s what happens when you stop being complacent.


Use Your Reach
I had an at length boxing session with some OGs about two weeks ago. It started off with them teaching me how to take advantage of my long reach so opponents can’t get close to my chin, then somehow went into us taking off the gloves and discussing dieting, vegetarianism, and silver back gorillas and more. The point was that the four of us in the room were extreme extremists (Keep in mind I’m 23 and they were all above 40). We talked about our drastic weight loss, fighting techniques, how silver back gorillas don’t eat meat but are still the strongest animals, the struggles of being vegetarian (one guy said he occasionally has to give into barbecued wings), how to stop a heart-attack (I have no proof but another guy said cayenne pepper can stop a heart-attack if used properly), etc. I was thinking of stopping my vegetarian thing on Thanksgiving (I haven’t had any form of meat since February 12th) but they encouraged me to never stop. They said society has people walking in a straight line and I have the power and reach to help some step out of line and find their own path.


We Talkin’ Bout Practice
Karl Anthony; Da Fam Music artist/songwriter; 19 years old. The guy never ceases to amaze me. When we first started working together late in the Summer, he would walk into studios with papers and phones full of rhymes, very clever rhymes. However, he would deliver them like he was reading and that would naturally affect the overall outcome of the music. Myself and J.Rob (Producer/Engineer/Friend of Da Fam) would stay on him about memorizing his lyrics, his delivery, his placement of words, and more. Each time he would simply accept our criticism and instantly apply it. Not only that; he would also go home and practice the hell out of what we taught him. So last week we meet at the studio and Karl is just making great song after song with no pen or paper. Delivery much improved, word placement much improved. Like my manager Kunle said at our lunch meeting yesterday: “if I wake up every morning and work at something, it will show. If you wake up every morning and don’t work at something, it will show.”


Effort or Eff It
I have a belief that if you’re not going to devote the effort it takes to maintain, acquire, or improve something, then you’re pretty much saying you’re satisfied with losing that thing. When I’m really interested in a young lady for instance, there’s almost no length I won’t go to (Leo pride permitting) to make sure she knows that I’m interested. Otherwise, I should have no complaints if I see her one day walking with some other dude. I recently had to eliminate two people from my life because of constant lack of effort to show that our relationship meant anything. I can count on one hand how many people I truly truly truly love and now two of them are gone due to lack of effort. When I was in Atlanta this past weekend, I had a meeting with someone who is responsible for probably most of your favorite songs over the past year. Him and his crew were in London and tried their absolute hardest to meet with me. Quick response to emails, texts, etc. Just the utmost respect and effort to show that me meeting them meant something. The meeting didn’t happen because I was flying out as they were landing but the effort was there and I’ll appreciate it forever.


May The Force Be With You
At this point, I’m surrounded by people who are so dedicated to excellence and being the best they can be at what they do. People who see the potential to make the world around them better. Everyone has their own unique and individual style. Everyone has confidence in his or her own ability. Egos are at a minimum. Jealousy doesn’t exist. My prayer everyday is that we are alive long enough to bring forth the change in the world that we see. There are several crews out there doing their thing but I don’t see many that approach things the way we do. We’re not coming from a perspective of “let’s make all the money and drive all the cars”; we’re coming from the perspective of let’s be the best at what we do, let’s make the world and the people around us better, and let’s enjoy life. The coolest part is that everyday someone new joins the force and every other day someone who can’t hang eliminates themselves. It’s a beautiful thing.

I think that’s all for now. Peace!

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Fight For Your Light

Posted on November 3, 2010 by phella| 2 Comments

I’ve tried to write several times over the past month and it just wasn’t coming out right. My mind was too clouded and I think I was writing from a negative place. The only thing more dangerous than speaking from a negative place is writing from a negative place. Writings, especially now with the Internet, can live forever…it would be tragic to have something you wrote negatively influencing people a thousand years from now.

Speaking of regretting something you wrote or said, Jay-Z recently said “what kind of animal would say those things?” when discussing some of his lyrics about women on the song “Big Pimpin.” I’ve been there. I cringe at times when I hear or read the thoughts of myself at age 17 or 18. That guy was lost and didn’t know it. No religion, no emotion, no law of governing, no respect for authority (still working on that) or family values; just a kid who felt the world did him wrong so now I’m gonna get rich and get payback.

That was me at my most lost stage in life. I believe most of the people in our world are lost most of the time. Some of us who know we’re lost, with hard work, are able to find ourselves and hold on tight till the next moment of being lost occurs. Others, however, fall into the trap of thinking they’re perfectly fine and continue to spiral into self destruction.

I look at it like this: The world is this incredibly big room with so much going on at all times, both good and bad. We’re all thrown into this room at birth and it’s up to us to make the best or the worst out of it. So we begin living life, trying to find our best position in the room. Have you ever tried to find something in the dark? Pretty tough. That’s why so many people lack an identity and are so undecided on so many things. When we lose our light in the room, it makes it difficult to know what is what and who is who. You can’t even see your own self. I don’t know about you but my mirror doesn’t work too well in the dark.

Loss of light is no fault of ours. On occasion, something happens that will cause the room to appear dark for us. It might be losing a spouse, losing a job, losing money, losing a relative, losing an opportunity. So many things can make us feel like the light is off in the room — loss just seems to be the number one cause. In these moments of perceived darkness, the only way to not become lost in this room and maintain who you truly are, is to either be so in tune with the room and yourself that you’re able to see that it’s not dark and that there is light, or to find something or someone that provides light and hold on to them. This is usually a parent, a spouse, a friend, co-worker, or even a spiritual guide that you can’t see physically.

Here comes the pain. When that thing or series of things happen that make you feel the world is ending and the room is dark, if you’re not careful, you’ll grab onto the first thing that presents itself. There are plenty of opportunists just waiting for you to not see light so they can present you with fake light and hope you’ll gravitate towards it. These people range from cigarette companies, to drug dealers, to those that sell sex, to just your everyday person. Then you have those who might even care for you but they don’t see light either. Clinging onto them, as convenient as it may seem, is even more dangerous.

Because you’re both not seeing light, you start to believe in each others logic and ways of doing things. Might as well right? In absence of light, go wherever and do whatever with whoever. They present you offers you can’t refuse and vice versa. A perfect example would be myself many years back. I was surrounded by people that saw nothing but darkness. I saw nothing but darkness. We all held on to each other and as a result things only got darker. In your mind it feels like it’s getting brighter. You’re making money, “living the life”, but in reality you’re just surrounding yourself with more darkness disguised as light. It’s why I feel so much for drug fiends. They saw darkness and the drugs seemed like light to them and now they’re so hooked that their chances of ever seeing true light are crushed.

I’ll give you a less tragic example. Sometimes when I’m in a dark place and not conscious of it, I’ll gravitate to something like Facebook and write something like “never trust anyone” as my status. That’s obviously nonsense since we know that you must learn to trust in order to be trusted, but other people will actually read that and ‘like’ it on Facebook. If I’m not careful, I could take them liking it as a sign that what I’m saying is good and further myself down that dark path.

I’m very conscious of my position in this room called life. My sole purpose is to help as many people see light as I can before I die. If I happen to drive a few fancy cars in the process and wear some nice clothes, so be it. I’m fortunate to know where my true light is at all times so even when I experience loss or something tragic, I can quickly retreat before I go too far down the dark path.

Find someone or something that has light and never lose sight of that thing or person. Even if you decide to stray away from time to time to go find your own light, keep that thing or person close by. On your journey, something is going to happen that will make this room seem dark and you’ll need to quickly be able to find light or risk being consumed by darkness.

To reference pop culture real quick, I think Kanye West is a person clearly consumed by darkness right now — his album is called My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy. He lost his mother, then lost his mind, then lost his fiancee, all in the same year. He has all he ever wanted from the room but the lights still seem off to him. Then he got a new girlfriend (Amber Rose) and seemingly has lost her too. Now convincing him that there’s light anywhere in this room is going to be very tough. Luckily for him, he’s conscious of it and all of the music he’s making and visuals he’s putting out are his attempts to find that place of light again. Good luck to him. I’ve been there many times and I know what that fight for light is like.

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@ Your Service

Posted on October 6, 2010 by phella| 3 Comments

“Life becomes harder for us when we live for others, but it also becomes richer and happier.”

“We are not put on this earth for ourselves, but are placed here for each other. If you are there always for others, then in time of need, someone will be there for you.”

“The sole meaning of life is to serve humanity.”

“All success consists in this: You are doing something for somebody – benefiting humanity – and the feeling of success comes from the consciousness of this.”

“If I can stop one heart from breaking,
I shall not live in vain;
If I can ease one life the aching,
Or cool one pain,
Or help one fainting robin
Up to his nest again,
I shall not live in vain.”

Those are some beautiful quotes from people throughout history plus an Emily Dickinson poem. But let’s call on Will Smith for the perfect definition of service: “If you’re not making someone else’s life better, then you’re wasting your time. Your life will become better by making other lives better.”

That right there is it. Close the case. Bang the gavel. Everyone go home.

I’m a successful person. Slice it anyway you want to, judge my faults and flaws, audit my 23 years of living if you wish — at the end, you’ll arrive at someone who is successful. Not because of any money I’ve made, because I haven’t made that much. Not because of any girl I’ve had, or any car I’ve driven, or any celebrity that I’ve worked with/for. I’m successful because I made a turn about three years ago to dedicate my entire life to serving others and the world. Muhammad Ali says “service is the rent you pay for your room here on earth.”

What happens when you don’t pay rent over a period of time? You get kicked out, right? The world doesn’t necessarily want to kick us out but it will make our time here difficult if we refuse to pay rent. The universe simply doesn’t work well for those of us who take an approach of living only for ourselves. It doesn’t take too kindly either to those of us who choose to serve only a select few who are of some benefit to us. The idea is that you rid yourself of all pride, all ego, and all selfish beliefs. You embrace the hardships of the world and use it to make yourself and others stronger.

Falling down a flight of stairs and saying to people “don’t ever take the stairs” is a disservice because they may need something that’s on the second level. Falling down a flight of stairs and saying to people “use caution when you take the stairs” is a service because now you’ve given them your knowledge and empowered them instead of making them weaker. You make a choice that you’re going to use your gifts to make every person you encounter better, regardless of how difficult it is. Then and only then can you experience true happiness and true success. It’s why Tupac, Ghandi, Mother Theresa, MLK Jr., and such people will live forever. They were ultimate servers.

If it ever seems like some people just have all the good fortune while others just have all the misfortune, study them closely and see who is into service and who isn’t. Who puts out positive images, thoughts, and ideas into the world, and who doesn’t? Who sets a good example for followers and who doesn’t?

There was a time when I summed myself up as a guy who wants to make money, make music, and take care of his family; period, end of story. Those words cost me years of misfortune. Everything under the sun went wrong. Finally when I was at rock bottom, I subconsciously made a switch in the year 2008. A lightbulb went off in my head that simply said “you have power, use it.” Then I began to serve. The more power I used, the more I received. Instead of just talking about my struggle for complaining sake, my songs began to also offer up solutions that were beneficial to others; music started getting better. I started this website and began to write straight from the heart for others to read and learn from; it caught on like wildfire. I joined a company — not to make money — but to help people with talent advance; money and accolades began to pile up. No coincidence ladies and gentlemen.

Service isn’t about writing a song or starting a blog per se, it’s about finding yourself by constantly serving. You don’t even have to say a word to serve. A nurse that really cares for her patient is serving. A model that uses her beauty to make people feel better is serving. Each one of us is a leader at some point or another. We all have gifts we’ve been equipped with. If you’re failing to use those gifts or misusing them, you’re failing to pay rent and the universe is going to kick you to the curb for thinking you can have a room and not pay rent.

I used to have a dislike for all things such as Facebook, Twitter, Blackberry Messanger, and even to a certain extent, this blog. A part of me would love to just live inside this private box and keep my thoughts and ideas to myself. But it’s not about me. The universe doesn’t care what I dislike. I have tools to make people who view my Facebook, Twitter, BBM, and blog bettter — to not use them or to misuse them would be a huge disservice to them and me. I know this because there was a time I gave up this blog for about 8 months or something like that. For selfish reasons I took away something that was serving several other people and the Universe punished me for it. I lost the attention of many people who believed in the Phella brand and it took me nearly a year to regain some, while others are lost forever.

None of us can be perfect; we all have shortcomings and flaws. But if you ever wonder why certain people have that glow or mystique to them, watch how they serve. Why do you think Mark Zuckerberg of Facebook just donated $100 million to the city of Newark, NJ where I live? Why do you think just about every rich and successful person has a foundation or charity? They’ve discovered that service is the only way they will continue to have good fortune and ever come close to finding true happiness.

Even when we do wrong, service provides us almost a ‘get out of jail free’ card. The drug dealer who sells so he can feed his daughter is ten times less likely to get caught than the drug dealer selling to buy jewelry and cars.

If you think everything I just wrote was complete nonsense, look at it this way: This world is a battlefield. Serving comes with night vision goggles, bulletproof vests, armored tanks and all. The universe sees that you’re using your time here wisely and it gives you the tools you need to survive and continue serving until your time to leave comes. Lack of serving comes with the t-shirt you have on and that’s about it. The chances of suriving in a battlefield with just a simple t-shirt are very low. The beauty of life is that we’re given multiple chances to change our ways and committ to serving. It literally can start right at this moment.

You’ve been served.

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