Depending on what scene you tuned into the movie that is Phellito’s Way, you may or may not know that I used to work for a New York based company called The Famous Firm, run by a guy named Sickamore. I did this for about a year and a half and it was what got me to where I am today. During my run with the company, I used to just sit back and observe a lot of things. One of the most interesting things I observed was that the owner, Sickamore, used to frequently take trips to anywhere he could anytime that he could. He also would frequently turn off his phone or computer at the oddest times and not attend to business matters until he was ready again.
This week makes one year since I launched Da Fam Inc and I completely understand now why he did those things. I understand now why Jay-Z, as president of Def Jam “took too many vacations”, or why Diddy does what he does. Because now I find myself doing similar things. Bare in mind that Da Fam Inc is nowhere near the level of FF, Bad Boy, or Def Jam, but it’s still the same. I’m at the beginning stages of building what we all hope will be something great and I’m learning that when you lead, especially in hip-hop where proper business protocol is usually disregarded, you’re faced with so many things that it’s important for your sanity to just get away — weekly if possible. When it’s not possible to take a trip, it’s probably wise to have a few hours where you neglect your Blackberry and computer. Not because you don’t care, but because you’re still human. Success in today’s business setting requires you to become a robot. If you act like a robot long enough, people really start to think you are one. They call you at anytime of day with any kind of problem, expect you to solve it, talk to you how they please, and you’re expected to just take it because, well, you’re a robot and that’s what robots do.
With that said, shout out to my co-manager Kunle Oki of Skc who is in Miami right now, living it up I hope. And shout out to me for typing this from a remote location — Blackberry off, slippers on, robot mode temporarily disabled.
It’s 2 in the morning. For the first time since I moved here to New Jersey, I fell asleep in the living room, on the uncarpeted floor, at 10pm nonetheless. I think if someone walked in, they would have thought for sure that I OD’d on something, but I didn’t. Just exhaustion is what that was — or like my man Carlito would say, “tired baby…tired”.
Since I’m up and sleep is nowhere in sight, let’s jot down some thoughts I may or may not regret in the morning.
More and more I’m coming to terms with the fact that a lot of people don’t want IT, at least not the way I want IT. I can’t really define IT, but whatever IT is, comes at a price many just aren’t willing to pay. This shouldn’t be news to me but I’m one of those naive people that believes in everyone and believes everyone wants to, can be, and will be great. Laziness, ego, pride, and a few other factors will be the demise of many. Ego and pride, I may have, but they are non-factors when it’s time for me to do what I need to do. I’m no genius, but I am smart enough to know that there are plenty of obstacles in life — self-imposed ones only make the journey that much more difficult.
Speaking of self-imposed obstacles, one day I’ll share all that has been going on with me the past 3 weeks or so. It’s going to be good. That’s why I can sit here and talk about it in gest, because I know there’ll be a day that it will all be a distant memory and just one more “I remember when” story that I can tell. Stay tuned for that…
I watched Jada Pinkett Smith’s new show “Hawthorne” earlier and it was good. The Smith family is doing big business right now and I think it’s cool how Will goes harder for his people than himself. He was in full Obama campaign mode for his son’s “Karate Kid” movie and the same now for his wifes show; a big reason why both are extremely successful.
On a professional note, I’ve found one or two big pieces to my puzzle recently. I know I think every piece to the puzzle is big — that’s just my nature, but these people are like the ones that you say in your VH1 story that the day you met them, your life became that much better. I’m willing to bet on it. Time will reveal I suppose.
On a personal note, ………………………………………. I don’t know why I find it difficult to talk personal stuff on here now. In my earlier days, I would just say whatever with no censor. I guess something’s are better just left unsaid, at least for a while. I will say that I’m a happily single man, focusing only on my career and nothing else. That last sentence is untrue, I think.
Still going hard as ever with the workouts lately. Sometimes as much as three times a day. I don’t know if my body is adjusting but I know for sure that my mind is. I’m becoming a robot again, which is pretty good news. A robot in the sense that only the strongest of things can move me. Everything else, I’m sort of just numb and oblivious too. I wouldn’t recommend that way of living to everyone; we’re human, we should feel. It’s just sometimes your environment is such that feelings get in the way and it may ocassionally require disconnecting the feelings wire to survive.
Congratulations to Drake on all those albums sold. The “Thank Me Later” project was solid; I purchased it. I’ve been seeking that groundbreaking debut album like Kanye’s or 50 Cent’s and I’m yet to find it. I’d say Kid Cudi’s project last year was probably the closest to a great debut that I’ve heard. Drake stuck with a formula that he had tested out already and executed it just well enough that you can’t say he had a bad album. I’ll thank him later, when he elevates to a musical plateua I know he can reach. His least selling album will probably be his best. This one was done with the cash registers in mind.
My favorite movie of all time is Carlito’s Way. I think everyone that really knows me knows that. If I’m around, that film isn’t too far away. I like the movie for a bunch of reasons but mainly because I always felt that minus some of the Hollywood exaggerations, my life kind of mirrors Al Pacino’s character in so many ways. Also because of all the great quotes the movie provided. The best one in my opinion:
“If you can’t see the angles no more, you’re in trouble”. Carlito says this as he was playing pool with a bunch of young hustlers who he sensed were about to try and kill him. He saw the angles they were coming from and was able to take a proactive approach out of that situation.
About a month ago I suffered a devastating loss at the Skc Pool Tournament. My very own best friend, who is like a brother to me, beat me and stopped my run to get the championship trophy. I honestly still think about it everyday. Not that I lost, but how I lost. I was playing great. I had a comfortable lead and just had to sink the 8-ball to win. It was hanging in the corner pocket which meant I had to just hit it from the right angle so the 8-ball drops while the cue ball stays on the table; a fairly easy shot to make as long as you realize the situation you’re in. I got distracted temporarily, rushed my shot, and the 8-ball dropped, then the cue ball dropped. In pool that’s called a “scratch”. A scratch on the final shot means you lose.
I didn’t lose because my friend played a better game. I didn’t lose because I’m a bad pool player. I didn’t lose for any reason other than the fact that I lost sight of the angles. Life can be easy or difficult depending on how well you play the angles. A guy like me tends to ignore the angles sometimes and just do what I please. That approach is fine as long as you know the angles are there; that way you can at least fix things before they spiral out of control. Trouble sets in when you don’t even observe the angles; don’t even know they exist. That’s when you begin to rush decisions and make terrible judgement calls. You start to “scratch”. In life, just like in pool, a scratch can prove deadly.
I think I’ve been losing sight of angles a lot recently. Not consciously either. Time to fix that. And just like with pool, the only way to notice the angles is to eliminate any and all distractions.
I have NO idea if anyone checks this website ever since I took the tracker off and the comments aren’t as frequent as before. For whoever is checking, here’s an update on a few things.
I’m going in the studio tomorrow to start and attempt to finish Winter Wonderland. I’m just excited to be recording again. I actually was in a studio earlier today but didn’t work. Just sat in on someone elses session and discussed music business and the nuances of it. Very enlightening discussion and a reassuring one as well.
I might live stream tomorrow’s session so if you follow me on Facebook or Twitter then look out for that. At the worst I’ll just record and then put up video footage. The live streaming thing can be kind of fun but also distracting. We’ll see.
On a personal level, life is life. Since I stopped putting my day to day activity on here I pretty much have no outlet for it other than music. Another reason why I’m so eager to record this new stuff and put it out there in the universe. Holding in emotions, whether good or bad, isn’t a good thing. I need my release.
The apartments I live in is pretty much broken up into two sections. There’s “front street” which is relatively well lit and people are usually coming and going. The chance of something happening to you or your car there is litte.
Then you have “death valley” which is about 50 feet away from “front street” but a whole different world. That’s where all the smoking, drinking, dealing, whoring and such goes on. Very dark parking lot and anyone there late at night is pretty much up to no good.
Recently the management said we’re only allowed to park one car on “front street”; why? I don’t know. So rather than park my darling Chevy in “death valley” I had planned to move her to my friends crib Saturday. Unfortunately that day ended up being a real busy one for me so I took my chances with “death valley” for a night. Right on cue the above happened.
Some guys broke in and tried to get my dvd player. I wasn’t even upset. I actually applaud their courtesy. Not only did they not steal my basketball and cds but they also didn’t do too much damage (aside from the window).
If you know me, basketball and music is my life. So leaving my ball and cd’s untouched is something I’ll always be grateful for.
3 summers ago this same car was assaulted in Baltimore while me and my friends were slanging fake Bape hoodies in the flea market. They took my DVD player and in the process damaged my entire dashboard and ignition. Now that one HURT!!!!. This one right here, lightwork.
They didn’t even try to take the car itself, all they wanted was the Kenwood so clearly it was just somebody trynna come up on a little spare change. Can’t knock the hustle.
*Sidenote: Ironic that I saw this about 3 mins after posting my “God Keeps Blessing Me” post right? If I wasn’t a clear thinker I would get upset and say “aww man maybe I’m not so blessed after all”. Believe me, for all I’ve gained recently, losing a small car window is more than a fair trade. The post below still stands.
For the unfamiliar, Phellito Brigante is my ‘tell it like it is, don’t care what you think’ side. Based on Carlito Brigante from the film Carlito’s Way. Of all movie characters I’ve seen, I think I relate to that one the most so that’s where the nickname came from. How it relates to this blog is that Phellito is real honest, so whenever you see that in the title, BE AFRAID.
That was all sidebar. Main purpose of this post is to share some of what I’ve been up to recently.
Fade Away. Been playing a lot of basketball. Getting in shape just in case I decide to play in a summer league, that’s doubtful though. My game is a fraction of what it used to be. I’m working on it though. On the bright side I’m very close to being able to dunk. Believe me it will be on film if/when I finally do.
Bad News. On a sad note, my on again/off again relationship with Keyshia Cole is over. I realized that it was one-sided. I sit here and appeal to her and what does she do? Goes off and gets with some bench warming Cleveland Cavalier player. Can’t wait for Kobe to light him up for 60 points in the finals.
Scaring Me. Speaking of Kobe and the Lakers, they’ve been killing me. Their current arrogance is causing them to take nights off and that’s how you get caught off guard. We need that chip on our shoulder again.
Never Take Your Eye Off The Prize. Speaking of chip on shoulders, I’ve got mine back till further notice. It never really left, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t start feeling like a front runner for a while there. You work hard, it kind of pays off, people who you grew up admiring start to recognize you, so naturally you can relax a bit right? WRONG! Not saying I got lazy but I did have this false sense of accomplishment for a while and thought things were on autopilot. In life, there is no autopilot.
Reunited And It Feels So Good. One thing I did do recently is rekindle a few relationships. Whenever I get into my zones and start working towards a certain goal, I always alienate friends. People can’t reach me or I don’t check in with them and they catch offense. With most people, I really don’t care to explain to them why I dissapear from time to time but believe it or not I do have a heart. I used this hiatus to mend a few relationships with a few people.
Family. Been spending a lot of family time recently too. Not just with my immediate family but also with cousins, close friends that are like family etc… It’s been real cool. Even dressed up in full African attire for the first time in my life (as pictured above). I look like I can hold down a village right?
Da Fam Inc. Between now and July I’ll be looking to assemble an All-Star team of sorts complete with artists, athletes, PR people, DJ’s, producers, engineers, and much more. Everyone has a “company”, everyone has a “movement”, everyone has “team”, no one has a family though. A business that runs like a family can’t fail. If we’re all we have, utilize each others strenghts and leave no one behind, failure won’t be an option. More details to come.
Music. I don’t think I’ll ever be a full-time artist. As much as I would love to, it makes zero sense given the current state of the genre that I’m skilled in. I’m learning each day how to make music but by nature I’m just a lyricist. Raw lyricists have never really been appreciated and now they are borderline extinct. This new definition of “lyrical” would have drawn laughters back in 1999-2003, the era when I fell in love with rap.
Other than that I’ve attended a few shows. Saw Colin Munroe, Wale and J.Cole in Norfolk, Va. That was cool because of course Colin is the homie and J.Cole is someone I knew of almost a year before he got signed.
Nobody warned me that the drive from DC to Atlanta would be so gruelling. The first 3 hours were cool, the next 2 were difficult, the last 4 were absolute hell. If you majored in math you know that means 9 hours of driving. The most annoying part is that there was no traffic, I coasted the whole way. At least if there was traffic it would kind of justify how long the trip took.
All was forgotten once I touched down though. The vibe down here is great. The NCAA tournaments are being played here so March Madness is in the air. It could just be the honeymoon phase because it’s my first time down here but I think I’m in love. That natural anger that we have up North (DC/Philly/NY) doesn’t seem to exist here.
As for what I did so far? Got in about 12am and checked into my room then headed out to Sickamore and Rich Hil’s hotel. Rich had a performance which I heard he killed, congrats to him. The Limo’s movement is catching on.
Next up was Don Cannon’s studio where Rich went to work on some Cannon tracks. If you know music you know Cannon is probably top 10 hip-hop producers right now. Lil Scrappy was in there working too. Good to see Scrap on his job, I always thought he was one of the slept on South rappers.
To pass time I decided to dust off the pool skills and show Sick why I’m Kobe Bryant on the tables. We played 7 games and the final result was 4-3, advantage me. It shouldn’t have been that close but they had these walls that kept interfering with my shots. Oh well, I brought the championship home and that’s all that matters.
After the studio it was probably like 3AM and everyone I know down here was knocked out so I decided to retire but not before eating some food that wouldn’t never fly back home. Eating healthy and being on the road don’t go together.
Day 2 should be cool too. Got a few folks that know the ins and outs of the town that have promised to show me what’s what. I’ll blog if any of it is blog worthy.
Sidenote:Someone tried to put me on to extemporaneous speeches the other day. She felt real special that she was telling me something new. I let her have her moment but honestly, it was the first thing they taught in Mrs.What’s Her Name’s Communication 101 class.
My weekend was a pretty decent one all things considered. -I regained my touch in pool, I had fallen off recently and was beginning to lose just a bit too much. Once I get in that zone though…GOODNIGHT, thanks for coming, better luck next time. -I also went DVD shopping and bought nothing but comedies. I have way too many serious movies in my catalog. Everything is some thought provoking drama or mafia movie. It felt good just to laugh and chill. “Hitch”, “Along Came Polly” and “Meet The Fockers” were some of the titles. -Swore to myself that I’m done with my bakery addiction. It makes no sense to go 21 years without ever drinking or smoking but you can’t say no to a chocolate chip cookie or a blueberry muffin. If not for pastries I would probably be in Spartan-like shape right now. I’m taking it one day at a time though. Hopefully I don’t relapse. -I got in one of those zones this weekend where I’m ready to make some more changes in my life. I’m never ever satisfied. Happiness is fleeting. You don’t just catch it and hold on to it forever. It’s something you have to work on constantly. Don’t know what’s going to come of the new changes but I just know a couple of adjustments must be made. I’ve been stressed out more days in 2009 than all of 2008 combined. -I think the cause of that stress is because last year I just worked freely without pressure. This year I’ve put tons and tons of pressure on myself to accomplish certain things in a timely manner. Unfortunately when you’re surrounded by people who don’t share the same “fierce urgency of now” mentality, you have to wait…and wait…and wait some more. In school I was always the person that would do the whole groups work as opposed to risk having some slacker mess it up. Some teachers commended this “go getter” attribute while others encouraged me to “be more of a team player”. I’m still confused till this day. Sidenote:Michael Jordan once said “there’s no I in team but there is an I in win” -There’s a good chance I’ll be waving goodbye to DC some time this summer or maybe even sooner. #1 Reason:I’ve operated from the same 10 mile radius for 12 years straight. If not for the exposure from going to George Mason for those 2 years, I would be an around the way n*gga…we all know how that movie ends. #2 Reason:Financial. #3 Reason:Everyone I look up to historically always made their biggest leap career wise after changing settings. Even if it’s just for a year or two. #4 Reason:Mrs.Phella is somewhere on the road. I’ve always known the final person I would settle with would be from out of town. Just not sure where exactly, but I’ve had the premonition already. #5 Reason:I’ll be able to play songs like “I’ll Be Gone Till November” and cry. -I learned something really really insightful and it just escaped my mind as I typed this. See why I like blogging from the phone? It was a gem too that I really wanted to share, oh well..maybe I’ll remember another time. -In other news, The Famous Firm has a big February in store. January started off very strong and the second month of the year should will be a bigger one. Expect a multitude of surprises. -If you look to the right of this blog and scroll down a bit, you’ll see I have a CBox now. Basically you can type random short messages and stuff there. I’ll be using that to basically microblog since everyone doesn’t have a twitter. -Steve Nash got dunked on so bad. My GOD!!!!!! Stop taking charges Steve and move out the way.
Sidenote:Shouts to DJ Laser,my cousin Tilly and a couple other people I’m forgetting at the moment. Real recognize real and ya’ll looking familiar.
So recently I’ve been in training. Nothing but reading,writing and running (the 3 keys to life). It’s doing wonders for my life but part of the deal I made with myself is to not cut my hair or beard until I reach a few goals. Boxers do it all the time. There’s something about the rough look and not caring about physical appearance that makes people go harder.
Problem is my mother thinks it’s a clear sign of depression and begs me to get rid of it everytime I see her.
"Soon silence will have passed into legend. Man has turned his back on silence. Day after day he invents machines and devices that increase noise and distract humanity from the essence of life, contemplation, meditation... tooting, howling, screeching, booming, crashing, whistling, grinding, and trilling bolster his ego. His anxiety subsides. His inhuman void spreads monstrously like a gray vegetation."
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