Tag Archives: I’ve Done All That So Now I Do This

400 Degreez

Posted on February 4, 2011 by phella| 1 Comment

I never wanted to be famous, not even popular. Not even remotely known. Just wanted to get messages out, inspire people to be better and possibly profit from it in the process.

Those are the loudest thoughts going through my head as I write this 400th iamphella.com post. It’s been 3 years now and I sincerely thank you all who read what I write…thanks for sticking with me through the droughts, the highs, the lows and the in between. Thanks to those who left and came back. Thanks to those who are new. Thanks!

I’m far from famous and that’s the scary part. If I’m already feeling too known and too on the radar at this point, what’s going to happen as we go further? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for every fan, friend, and follower I gain; without that, these words would mean nothing. However, I wish there was a way to get my vision out without having to attach my name or face to so many things and so many people. I know the day is coming but it can’t come soon enough. I just want to make change in the world (using artistry, athletics and literary work), put change in the pockets of those I love, buy a few nice things and ride off into the sunset — only to be heard from when I absolutely have something useful to say.

I just feel like the world, in particular the young entertainment world, is so loud. Just noise everywhere. Everyone trying to out- “cool” and out- “grind” one another. So few actually cool. Even fewer actually grinding. Attention seeking is at an all-time high, regardless of the price we have to pay. I can’t blame people. We’re currently more lost than human beings have ever been. On a minutely basis we have all these things being thrown in front of us that distract us from the main goals in life. Even the most focused man or woman will occasionally give into the temptation…this week alone I’ve strayed from my eating habits twice, slept way past my 5AM wake up time all five days of the week, failed to make enough time for my spiritual practice and served my own interests far more than I did anyone else’s.

I guess I never realized just how bad it was because I’ve been in it for so long. But after two relatively noise-free months, to suddenly find myself conference calling while driving across state lines, while updating statuses is a reality check as to how crazy things can be. And like I said, this is just pre-game. The further into this year we get and with the hard work myself and people around me seem like we’re about to do, the calling, driving, and status updating only increases from here on out.

It doesn’t help that I’ve watched my favorite movie, “Carlito’s Way”, a few times. For those that don’t know, I’m convinced that minus a few differences, that character is me; that’s why I jokingly call myself Phellito sometimes. Basically a guy gets out of jail and swears to live a clean life; all he needs is to get his girl, get some money, and disappear to paradise. Unfortunately for him, he gets caught in a web of betrayal, not knowing who is who or what is what. Despite the change in mind frame, he’s still surrounded by people and things that bring the very kind of trouble he’s trying to escape. What can he do? It’s all he knows. That loyalty to “friends” and inability to completely separate from all things bad cost him everything. For me it won’t. I’ll say peace out to all worldly things before I allow myself to succumb to the pressures of them.

All that said, check out my latest videos (www.youtube.com/dafamcam), my two updated websites (www.dafaminc.com) & (www.dafamink.com), add me on Facebook: Tobi ‘Phella’ Alli, Twitter: @Phella. Damn.

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What I Seen Made My Life Change

Posted on January 27, 2011 by phella| Comments Off

Something not so light that I wrote at my other writing home earlier.

As Malice Of The Clipse aka Gene Thornton prepares to release his book, “Wretched, Pitiful, Poor, Blind and Naked” to the world, I feel it’s an oportune time to share with you my Clipse story and why Malice’s video blogs and forthcoming book are so important to me. It’s part journal, part exposé, and part persuasive essay as to why you should support his latest endeavors. Other than being a fan and the ecnounters you’re about to read, I’m not affiliated with Malice or the Clipse in anyway. Just sharing my story and my thoughts as always.

Many moons ago (2006 – 2007 ish) I was a 19 year old guy fresh off of “dropping out of school to rap”, or so THEY said; I think THEY know now that my plans were far beyond that. I was young, to an extent angry, frustrated with the conditions my family was living in, unhappy with who I was inside and ready to do whatever 4 what I thought would make me happy, money and fame. That down 4 whatever attitude took me places I didn’t belong, doing things I had no business doing. Enter the Clipse.

I’ve never been a fool and I know that 91% of what most rappers deliver is simply fabricated jargon that they hope the masses will buy into. Some guys know in their hearts that some of it is destructive and misleading but continue because they have to feed their family and I can never knock that hustle, it’s just not for me. What was for me was the truth. The Jay-Z’s and the Clipse’s of the world. There’s a certain feeling you get when you’re dealing with authenticity that just can’t be replicated when dealing with less than authentic. People whose stories you really identify with, even if your story isn’t exactly the same.

Jigga man was a bit before my time and a bit over my head in the sense that when he was at the height of talking his fly stuff, I was about ten years old and at that point unexposed to just how real it was. But now it’s 9 years later, I’ve been exposed, and I want in — not for cool sake but like I said, I wanted to change living situations and change them quick. I hadn’t developed the foresight and guiding light that I possess these days. Blissful ignorance had kicked in and taken complete control over me.

So life is pretty good at this point. I’m in my Chevy doing the damn thing; enough to be able to change living conditions without being on anyone’s radar and I got the perfect soundtrack to keep me going, the Clipse’s music. In my mind, they were me and I was them. Dudes that could easily rap circles around anyone with a microphone but would rather find other means of surviving than to be bothered with the circus the music business was becoming. So with my Gucci sneakers, gold bracelet, and Polo everything, I was determined to follow in their footsteps. Luckily for me, things came crashing down quicker than I ever could have imagined. That, coupled with some reading, some soul searching, and an Obama speech that I attended, I no longer wanted to be like the Clipse; I wanted to be me.

Still I remained a huge fan. HUGE FAN. I ran into Pusha T a few times and began to tell him how I had this big vision for the Clipse and to get them the recognition they deserved. Keep in mind that at this point I had a job within the recording industry and I wanted the Clipse to be my main project. I fought for it like I do everything else that I obsess over. Pusha gave me some time of day but he probably knew that a guy named Kanye would show up years later and get him his proper shine. Their road manager, Steven Victor, was more interested in telling me about his latest BMW acquisition than anything I had to say about working with them. Kyambo “Hip-Hop” Joshua was extremely courteous but he’s freaking Hip-Hop; when you’re priorities are Roc-A-Fella, Lil Wayne, Drake, and Young Jeezy, some 20 year old kid named Phella with his Clipse dream goes to the bottom of the pile, naturally.

Success didn’t come until I tracked down the Clipse’s other manager, Geezy. This was the man to talk to. Unlike everyone else, he made an actual attempt to hear me out, even calling me one day while I was driving and listening to the Clipse. I turned it up and said to him “See, I’m not fronting. I’m a real fan”. He chuckled and then we continued conversation. Discussed everything from their then new clothing line Play Cloths to what kind of records were best for them at that point. I was my typical self when motivated; talking way above my head and selling Geezy a dream he couldn’t refuse. We hung up with plans to continue another day, but that day never came.

I woke up one beautiful spring morning to read on AllHipHop.com that Geezy, real name Anthony Gonzalez, was facing an 82-count Federal indictment. My heart sunk. Not because my Clipse connection was going away and with him, probably my only chance of ever working with them, but because a man who I had spoken to over the past month, who showed me the utmost respect, who is a father, was being put away. Whether he did what he was accused of wasn’t for me to judge or even care about. It was just a sad day and  I felt for him, the brothers, and everyone else affected.

That same morning, I resigned from the music industry company I was working with and decided to start Da Fam Inc back up. Starting my company meant getting back to music and getting back to business. Around the same time, Malice of the Clipse was releasing these very spiritual video blogs directed by some people called Illusive Media. The messages in the videos really resonated with the transformation I was going through and the way the vids were shot were so impressive that I got on the phone to Illusive and said I had to work with them. A few trips to VA later, a price quote that was way above what I could afford, and a sold Chevy later, I paid Illusive and we got our video.

The video was great, but even greater was the experience of working with those guys. They pretty much have done everything media related for the Clipse and had great stories for days about the group, about Geezy, about Pharrell, about everything. To prove how small the world is, I would later run into Malice’s son (an artist in his own right), Fame, at a studio session. He looked, sounded, and behaved just like his pops and was another good person to meet. I was impressed that a celebs kid could be that humble; even helping me with a few of my songs hooks.

I say all this to say that when the book drops on February 14th, it’s one that anyone who enjoys reading what I write should probably check out. I have no clue what’s in it but judging from all the videos leading up to it, I can only assume it’s similar to the thoughts I try to share daily. About not chasing cool or riches. About finding ones self. About being true. About hitting rock bottom before you can know what the real mountain top is. About belief and faith. About repentance and forgiveness. That’s just if I had to take a wild guess though. We’ll find out soon enough.

-Phella

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“Vegetarian Lifestyle, Might Don’t Make It”

Posted on January 16, 2011 by phella| 2 Comments

My homegirl Ainslee aka 6S from Ohio can be credited for that line.

I ate great this week. Vegetarian life doesn’t suck. Matter of fact, it’s great. February 12th makes it a year and everyday I’m still discovering new things to keep it fresh.


Monday mornings blueberry wheat waffles with the whipped cream my cousin brought over since Thanksgiving that I’ve been putting on errything. Also some morning star veggie sausages and cheese eggs. Looks like a lot of food but probably less calories than your average breakfast sandwich from a fast food spot.


Garlic naan (I’m a carb addict so things like naan allow me to get my fix without doing too much destruction). Morning star mushroom patties and broccoli overload (my second favorite thing on earth lately). And some tea (my first favorite thing on earth lately — after going 23 and a half years without ever tasting tea, I’m now addicted.)


Mushroom, walnuts, and greens salad at Masa 14.


More tea.


Curry tofu at Masa 14…..crack!


The carb fiend in me is suppressed these days but still is alive and well. Pecan pie after the studio never hurt nobody.

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A Better Day

Posted on November 15, 2010 by phella| 1 Comment



I know there are six weeks left, but I’ll go ahead and call it now: this has been a great year for me and for us. Probably my best one yet. Just like last year was my best one up until that point. The idea is to keep getting BETTER in all aspects and make everyone around you better. If we are not making each other better then we are of no use to one another.

With that said, I have my second single to follow up “Crossover” (which has been doing great by the way) coming real soon. This is the granddaddy of them all, I promise! My manager Kunle can be seen jamming to it in this video. It’s his favorite song, and probably the first song that he A&R’d. The producer, The Score, is his long time friend and he had him send me some beats. I heard this particular one and in less than 5 minutes the whole song was in my head. I was so excited that I went to Facebook and wrote out as much of the lyrics as my status update would allow:

I’m either high or low, I don’t mix with average
In the night I glow like I’m Hilton Paris
But watch this tape, I won’t get embarassed
Cuz all that I’m doing is mix and matching
The hood like Kenny from SouthPark
With the good life many have fought for
I listened to what Sonny from Bronx taught
Keep her if she open your front door
Leave her if she open to front for — her friends or the world….

So on and so forth. I was in my zone! Lyrically and flow wise, if I must say. Like that’s not enough, after five years of knowing her, a certain friend of mine has finally agreed to bless me with her vocals and add to the track. It’s going to be crazy. Hope you all enjoy the song when you hear it, the video when you see it, and more importantly, hope you join us as we embark on these better days. Expect to see us doing a lot more performing, travelling (Texas, LA, Atlanta, Miami, Vegas, and such will be visited often), the writings will be better, the websites will be better, the photos and videos will be better. Everything will be better, simply because it has to be. It’s all I know. It’s all we know.

Shout out to Fresco for baring with me yet again to squeeze out these three photos. I love photos, hate photo shoots. Anything that makes me the center of attention and forces me to “act” gives me chills. If that didn’t do it, then the wife beater in 30 degree weather by the water did. That’s part of becoming better though — learning how to make sacrifices and do things that are outside of your comfort zone.

And special shout out to Matt…for unplugging the phone.

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Lou Lamoriello Speech

Posted on September 19, 2010 by phella| Comments Off

Earlier on this year, when I first moved to Jersey, my friend James invited me to a Sports symposium at Seton Hall University. It was a full day of getting a lot of knowledge from pro athletes and big sports names on the business and legal aspect of things.

To close off, the guest of honor was Lou Lamoriello–the CEO of the New Jersey Devils hockey team. I live in downtown Newark where they play so I see NJ Devils stuff all around me all day long. It was an honor to see the man behind all that. What I didn’t know is that I was in for about 30 minutes of the best speaking you would ever hear. A few minutes in, I realized it was going to be something special and turned my ipod recorder on….the quality isn’t the greatest but trust me it would be worth it to sit through this 22 minutes…listen very closely. I even ask him a question at the end.

Lou Lamoriello Speech At Seton Hall

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What Can I Say….

Posted on September 4, 2010 by phella| Comments Off

September is a great month to me. It’s Fall, which I love. It’s close to the Holidays, which I love. The weather allows you to get stylish, which I love. So and so forth…..

Depression Is All I Know?
I feel bad that I don’t update my blog unless I’m going through stuff. I wish I would come on here and write after good experiences but that’s no fun. Just like my music, I prefer to dig into the topics that trouble most people and offer up a solution. I’m learning how to just have fun though — both with music and writing.

Seeing Stars
Speaking of having fun, I’ve been doing a lot of that lately. Not to name drop or anything, but in the past month I’ve met T.I., Nas, Idris Elba, Chris Paul, Baron Davis, and a few others. Not to name drop or anything. Jokes aside, I believe in celebrity. A lot of people have this “they’re just another person, what’s the big deal?” attitude towards famous people. I don’t believe in that. These people worked hard to get to where they are and should be recognized for it. The problem is when you put them on this pedestal that makes them seem super-human; that’s not cool. Just appreciate that this is a human being that does something you enjoy, tell them that, maybe take a picture, and keep it moving. Going out of your way to show someone you don’t care about them is the mark of a truly insecure person.

It’s All Because Of Nicki
So while we’re on the subject of appreciation…Nicki Nicki Nicki. One day we shall reunite and I’ll tell you all I was too shy to say a few years ago. Her verse on that new Kanye song was one of the finest I’ve heard this whole year. Monster!

This Part Of My Life Is Called Running
I’ve been moving around a lot lately, with a lot of stuff, pursuing happyness just like Will Smith’s character in the movie. I encourage all of you to strap on 50lbs worth of luggage and run through the streets of New Jersey and New York trying to catch crowded buses and trains. It’s the best. It feels like labor and laboring is all I’m about. Not purposeless labor but laboring towards your goals. No car service, no cabs, no credit card with an endless balance. Just work. Work because you want to achieve and you will or you’ll fall out trying. If you lead a team or you’re a part of a team, that spirit is contagious. People (the smart ones) around you will try to match your work ethic or (the dumb ones) they’ll get envious and uncomfortable around you. F*ck the latter. Don’t slow down for anybody. Slow down only when you feel it’s necessary — make it brief.

Home Is Where The Lack Of Productivity Is
Very related to the last subject. I see why I left home — it’s way too easy at home. Food, extra money, safety, love, nurturing etc. All good things right? Yes, if you’re 12. I was telling a girl the other day how I have to limit my visits home because it’s way too comfortable. She looked at me like I was crazy but ya’ll know what I mean right? No one ever accomplished anything noteworthy by being comfortable. Newark, NJ is what I need in my life. But it is good to have people and a place to run to on occassion.

Readers Digest
I don’t date. At all. Historically all I do is meet someone I’m very interested in and assuming they’re interested in me as well, we get together and enjoy each other’s company. Dating to me is like browsing a bookstore. I know what kind of books I like so I feel no need to browse. It’s hella expensive and time consuming too. Right now I’m taking a different approach though and for the first time in my life I’m getting my browse on. I’ve stumbled into a lot of sleazy novels (gold diggers) and paperbacks that are only worth the pictures in them (nice body, no brain), but amidst all that is the occassional great read (beautiful, intelligent, classy). Maybe one day I’ll share what I’m currently reading………

Peace and have a good Labor day.

Current Rotation:
Jazmine Sullivan – Holding You Down
Trey Songz – Can’t Be Friends
The O’Jay’s – Forever Mine
T.I. (All his stuff that makes you drive 100mph and break laws)
Drake – CeCe’s Interlude

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Shhhhh Part 2

Posted on July 18, 2010 by phella| 3 Comments

More quiet time. I’m sure you guys know the old saying about “if you aint got nothin’ good to say then don’t say anything at all” — I’m about to exercise that. Thanks to all my supporters, friends, and family. I’ll keep working for you. Wish I could share some encouraging words real quick but I’m in a serious learning and observing phase right now. Once I’ve learned and observed to the point that I’m sure of what’s what and who’s who, then I’ll be able to share. In the meantime, here’s some visual stuff.

Da Fam Inc x Blonde Collective Photo Shoot in Washington D.C. on the 4th of July.

Decided to film my basketball routine one of these past mornings. More so for my sake so I know what to work on but I decided to share. The soundtrack to it might also be of some interest. Two remixes of DC artists songs (one official and one unofficial) that I think most of you probably never heard.

Sidebar: I wanna hate The-Dream for his actions towards Christina Milian but I feel like that’s a situation we as the public shouldn’t even know about. It’s just unfortunate that in 2010, everything goes public. Wish them the best. His cd “Love King” has been on repeat since I bought it and it’s poor sales, I believe, can only be blamed on the fact that he’s a very disliked person.

Sidebar #2: I’ve been wanting to speak on LeBron James since “The Decision” was made but it would just be piling on at this point. The NBA season is right around the corner. There’ll be plenty of time for me to state my opinion and see if he proves it right or wrong.

Peace + Love

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Summer Summer Summertime……

Posted on May 25, 2010 by phella| Comments Off

“Here it is, a groove, slightly transformed…..” – Will Smith

Summer is refusing to officially start this year. We’ve had some warm days but for those part it’s been nothing but clouds and gloomy weather, especially here back home in DC where I’m writing this. You know me though, I even had a song called “Summer In My Mind”; doesn’t matter what it looks like outside.

So here’s my Top 5 Summertime goals. I’m putting out there in the world because I believe that’s the most effective way to make things happen. If you can help, holla!

1) Learn how to swim. My aunt asked me yesterday if I knew how to swim and I shamefully had to tell her no. I get that question at least twice a year and it shames me to say no. Especially because I remember vividly taking an intense swimming class when I was 5 or 6 years old? What did they teach us, how to not swim? Swimming just seems to time consuming and something you do when you’re very young or very old. But those are excuses. Nothing is gonna stop me from becoming Michael PHELps this Summer.

2) DUNK A BASKETBALL. I swear this has been my goal the past three Summers. I always start off good and then due to time and other factors, I get sidetracked. Not this year. I haven’t even started practicing my jumping yet. I’ve just been getting back into the swing of my workout/diet so I can be light by the time June 1st rolls around. If that’s any indicator, this is my year. I’ve dropped a significant amount of weight over the past two weeks and my metaboloism as at an all-time high. In other words, I’ma be jammin baby, I’ma be jammin!

3) Start my book. I want to write two books before it’s all said and done. One biographical type, and the other a self-help kind of book. I’ve done this blog on and off for a little over two years and I’ve said A LOT. I thank all of you for reading, commenting, and absorbing my thoughts and using it how you wish. My plan is to take the top 50 entries out of the 600+ I’ve done and kind of break them down. It’s going to simply be called iamphella.com and will also include the story behind why I started this, why I stopped at one point, and why I started again. Real quick and simple read but I feel those with $10 to spare will be able to benefit. We’ll have it for sale on Da Fam Inc site and if I’m aggressive enough, maybe in stores.

4) Learn Italian. This is the least likely to happen so maybe I should just scratch it off now. Least likely because I don’t think I really even want to do it anymore. I still plan on visiting Italy early and often once I’m financially able to do so but as for speaking the language, I think I can do with out it. So scratch this off my list.

5) Meet and Marry Ciara. Hope no one finds this funny because I don’t. I’ve always had a thing for Ciara but recently it’s just gotten out of control. She has this happy spirit that is rare. It’s not about money or success or anything. You just see someone that’s very confident in who she is and wants to enjoy life. I think I can help her enjoy it even more. Obviously she’s used to the finer things and I’m in the process of getting my weight up so that might slow down the marriage. But at least let me meet her and let her know what’s up.

There it is. 1 man. 5 goals. 1 Summer. Let’s do it.

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Don’t Lose Sight Of The Angles

Posted on May 20, 2010 by phella| Comments Off

carlitos-way
My favorite movie of all time is Carlito’s Way. I think everyone that really knows me knows that. If I’m around, that film isn’t too far away. I like the movie for a bunch of reasons but mainly because I always felt that minus some of the Hollywood exaggerations, my life kind of mirrors Al Pacino’s character in so many ways. Also because of all the great quotes the movie provided. The best one in my opinion:

“If you can’t see the angles no more, you’re in trouble”. Carlito says this as he was playing pool with a bunch of young hustlers who he sensed were about to try and kill him. He saw the angles they were coming from and was able to take a proactive approach out of that situation.

phellitos-way-2

About a month ago I suffered a devastating loss at the Skc Pool Tournament. My very own best friend, who is like a brother to me, beat me and stopped my run to get the championship trophy. I honestly still think about it everyday. Not that I lost, but how I lost. I was playing great. I had a comfortable lead and just had to sink the 8-ball to win. It was hanging in the corner pocket which meant I had to just hit it from the right angle so the 8-ball drops while the cue ball stays on the table; a fairly easy shot to make as long as you realize the situation you’re in. I got distracted temporarily, rushed my shot, and the 8-ball dropped, then the cue ball dropped. In pool that’s called a “scratch”. A scratch on the final shot means you lose.

I didn’t lose because my friend played a better game. I didn’t lose because I’m a bad pool player. I didn’t lose for any reason other than the fact that I lost sight of the angles. Life can be easy or difficult depending on how well you play the angles. A guy like me tends to ignore the angles sometimes and just do what I please. That approach is fine as long as you know the angles are there; that way you can at least fix things before they spiral out of control. Trouble sets in when you don’t even observe the angles; don’t even know they exist. That’s when you begin to rush decisions and make terrible judgement calls. You start to “scratch”. In life, just like in pool, a scratch can prove deadly.

I think I’ve been losing sight of angles a lot recently. Not consciously either. Time to fix that. And just like with pool, the only way to notice the angles is to eliminate any and all distractions.

Be careful and pay attention to the angles.

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Winter Wonderland: Enjoying Living In A Cold World

Posted on March 28, 2010 by phella| Comments Off

phellafrontcover
phellabackcover

Here It Is for Mac’s.
Here It Is again for PC’s.

Hope you take from it something you can use. Whether you take from it just the music to sing along and vibe to, or the insight into my life and how I’m feeling at the time, or the underlying message of making the best out whatever the world hands you; thanks and you’re welcome.

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