As people with pride, limitations, and resources that aren’t endless, we tend to have a threshold for how far we’re willing to go to get what we want. We all have that point where “enough is enough”. You’ve courted her for a year and she still won’t budge. You’ve applied 6 times, each time with an improvement to your resume and they won’t call back. You’ve done every workout known to man and that last bit of stomach refuses to tuck itself away. So now what, you stop trying?

There are two schools of thought on this. There’s one that says we should all know when to say when. There comes a point you have to be realistic and accept a situation for what it is. Some thing’s just aren’t meant to be. Then there’s the idea that if you want something, you go get it. Do whatever it takes. Expend every single resource. Go till you’re breathless. Throw pride and caution to the wind.

Myself personally, I subscribe to the latter; but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t understand the former. How can Steve pursue Laura for so long and be turned down by her day in day out? How didn’t his little Urkel pride kick in and say “grow a set man”? I guess that’s just how bad he wanted her. He was willing to try for the rest of his life if he had to. That’s TV. In real life, there comes a point where time catches up with us. Finances catch up with us. So many factors kick in that make it very difficult to continue trying. I think that point is called “The Dip” according to author Seth Godin.

“The Dip” is simply about when it’s time to push harder or when it’s time to quit. According to Godin, “winners do quit and quitters do win.”

I think what I’m trying to say is that only you know when you’ve hit a “dip” (the point where it seems it’s time to quit but really what you need to do is push harder) or when you’ve hit a “cul-de-sac” (the point where no matter what you do, there is no progress to be made). Winners are those who can quickly identify “the dip” from “the cul-de-sac” before it’s too late. Life is full of obstacles and roadblocks. If everything we wanted came so easy, we wouldn’t want them; that’s just the way it works. My inclination is that we don’t choose those things which we should pursue relentlessly; they choose us. It’s a feeling thing. Logic will no longer be applicable. You’ll feel like to give up on this thing would be to lose a piece of yourself. Life would no longer be worth living. At that point, you just gotta keep trying.

Sometimes it seems going right is wrong, going left is wrong, going straight is wrong, and we all know for sure that turning back is wrong. However, stopping isn’t an option either. Slow down maybe, but never stop. So I’m about to just pick a direction and live with wherever it takes me.

Sidebar: Sorry for being so vague. Can’t really go into much detail with stuff in this new version of I Am Phella.

I started a new circuit workout last night that doesn’t involve any weights. Just 20 mins and I’m done and I can move on to cardio (running, jump rope, bicycle etc…). That’s where the ouch part comes in. My ankles, knees and just about every other body part are out of commission this morning. Feels good though.

Coming from an African family, this debate over college or no college is a very frequent one. I would really like to know where everyone in the blogosphere stands on this and why. Feel free to email or comment anonymous if you want.

Video was jacked from RealTalkNY by the way.

On a related note, with The Firm we get a ton of inquiries from people wanting to work with us or intern. Most people just submit pages and pages of their resume and what degrees they’ve attained. Unfortunately that doesn’t necessarily speak to what kind of person you are and what kind of character you have. In addition to your scholastic accomplishments please include some general insight about your personality, what motivates you etc…

Side note:Guess who was just taught how to strike a word out on html? haha I’m about to OD with it. I am OD’ing with it.

I feel bad about my performance during this inauguration weekend. I should have been way more active and more involved.
*Excuses For Not Partying As Much:Parties were too crowded, lines were extra long when we can’t skip the line, we skip the party.
*Excuses For Leaving The Inauguration Early: I was sleepy. Went straight from a party to a breakfast spot to THE breakfast spot, props to Jabari for putting a dude on to “Steak N Eggs”. From there I get in a line that stretched probably 10-20 miles. Imagine being surrounded by 3 million tourists who don’t understand the act of NOT stepping on your shoes. Imagine 15 degree temperature with no gloves and no scarf (props to the lady who kept giving me her tissues for my nose and the girl who helped me zip my hands inside my coat…2 much black+2 much love=4ever). Imagine taking pictures of monuments that you can see from your house, and then realizing that it makes no sense. Imagine being told that you can see more from the TV set than the people there in person….imagine no cell phone service. Imagine leaving with your frost bitten toes and fingers.

Props to everyone who stayed and thugged it out. I fully understand why. “It’s nobody fault I made the decisions I made, that’s why I’m still paranoid till this day..”-Jay-Z

Speaking of the Jigga man. Man that was too real to see him performing “History” on that stage. Like that’s the stuff movies are made out of. Shout out to Beyonce, Kanye, Usher, Garth Brooks, Sheryl Crow, Rihanna and everyone else who pumped life into this town this past weekend. Especially you, Ms.Rosario Dawson who I ran into stalked twice. What a woman.

Mr.Obama I know I’m not saying anything new here but you deserve to be commended a million times. You and you’re family exemplify all that’s good with the world. Struggle, perseverance, faith, hard/smart work and knowing how to handle success. You’re teaching showing men how to be naturally cool again as opposed to forcing. Your wife is showing women how to be strong, determined and beautiful without being bitchy and condescending a tad bit snotty. Your daughters are already serving as role models for their age group as well. Keep it up sir and good luck with the Presidency. 1600 Pennsylvania Ave is a stones throw from where I live. Hit me up for basketball one of these days.

Back to politics as usual now.

Today is full of me doing things I said I wouldn’t do. Things that if I become addicted to might ruin my life. I need a psychologist again. This idea of making decisions all alone is getting old.

First off I made my return to Macy’s Ralph Lauren section. I did so good for the past 6 months (partly by choice and partly because of recession), but today it all came crashing down. I walked in there and all those colors, all that soft cotton, so precisely stitched and cut…mannnnnn.

Also I said I would never get a Twitter because I know how easily I become addicted to things and overdo them; it’s the reason I never gave into drinking or smoking. Well Twitter is one thing I couldn’t say no to. www.twitter.com/phella The one good thing is that it’s teaching me to keep my words short…it has a word count so I can’t rant forever the way I do on here.

And last but not least I swore off clubbing. From like August to October last year I was a “party animal”. Bare in mind party animal for my standards is about two parties a month. Normally I play the crib and keep to myself but I caught the party bug last year and couldn’t be stopped. Tonight I’m making my return cuz one of my homies has a reason to celebrate and I think I’ve done the crib thing to death. I tell you one thing, the future Mrs.Phella will NOT be there. Every chick I ever met at the club ended up semi-ruining my life.

Sent Via Blackberry By AT&T

“I get a lot of back lash for saying what I’m going to do. I love saying what I think because it keeps me accountable. Once I say it, I feel like I have to to do it and I love proving to everyone that I can!”-Kanye West (Page 16 of his book)

Last post of the year, gotta make it count. First and foremost I must thank each and every person who reads, comments, laughs, and shares anything they see on here. It means much to me that people take time to check what I got going on and allow me to share my work and my thoughts with them. Appreciate it.

Shout out to everyone who helped me this year. There’s no one I came across that I didn’t learn from. Every person I encountered on the street, every facebook /myspace profile I read, and every blog post that I viewed helped me in some form. Even if it’s just me saying “Phell don’t you ever do what that person just did”. I would love to shout people out individually but it’s impossible….way too many people were instrumental in my 2008 run.

Easily the happiest of my 21 years on this earth. Had the pleasure of working with people I grew up idolizing. That’s not even supposed to happen. Only in the movies. I was able to touch people with words both recorded and written. Helped a few folks advance their careers. Introduced people around me to a whole new way of thinking and living. Came across so many smart people that passed on knowledge that the worlds biggest library couldn’t provide.

2008 was everything 2007 wasn’t. 07′ was where I cut off everyone to get my life on track without any distractions. Very selfish but necessary. I had to go through 07′ to get to 08′ so I ain’t mad.

2008 was the year I tried to reconcile a few of the relationships I lost the previous year. I believe people who really care for each other can go years without speaking and pick up right where they left off like it was nothing. If you don’t speak to someone for a few months then next time you speak to them it seems funny,that relationship was never worth much in my opinion. Anyways, 2008 I made a pact not to cut anyone off (just an extremist way of compensating for the mass cut offs of 2007). It (kinda) worked except mad people took advantage. No matter what people did, I let it ride till my patience finally ran out around September and I reverted back to my old low patience self. It’s really not low patience. You shouldn’t have to tolerate other peoples BS in your life unless it’s a relationship you really really value. And even then there should be a “let’s fix the BS” time frame.

The following was my approach towards life in 2008 written in WordsFrom style (Might get posted there too, I sent it in).

In 2008 I Ran

Running=Pursuing goals in life. The Finish Line=Accomplishing those goals in a timely fashion and maintaining happiness while doing so.

I put my head down and I run forward with velocity. My head is down so I don’t see any potential obstacles or hazards that might discourage me from running. I run with velocity as opposed to speed because any fool can run fast as hell in the wrong direction;velocity however is knowing your direction and then applying speed to it. I take note of everything I pass along the way and try to apply it to my run. The temptation occurs to look ahead but I take great pleasure in my current progress.

Occasionally I’ll slow down but never completely stop. I slow down to make sure I’m still comfortable with the direction I’m going in. If someone behind wants to run with me they are more than welcome. Running partners can make the journey easier but they are not a necessity. To join, you have to offer something positive to the run and cannot show any signs of weakness or doubt. If you don’t 100% believe in something, don’t do it. Plain and simple.

If it’s revealed that you’re a person looking for a free ride or that you are scared or incapable of running,I’ll simply leave you behind without explanation. Same will be done if you are a person that easily gets jealous of the velocity and confidence that one runs with. There’s no magic potion or secret shoe. It’s simply the constant practice of acquiring knowledge,hard/smart work, and blind faith.

If you lack those and envy me for having them, I’ll leave you behind. No hard feelings. No diss songs or harsh text messages need to be exchanged. In the event you do disrespect me for my decision, I’ll run even harder. Your unkind sentiments will be dealt with appropriately after the run. I also won’t tolerate if you come off as a person willing to cut corners or cheat in the run. Sorry but no golf carts or rocket boosters allowed. We want to get to the finish line but not that bad.

Shout out to all my runners. See you at the track in 2009.

Sidenote:Props again to Will Smith for the motivation to run. Props to Sickamore on the Velocity vs Speed speech way back in the early days of The Famous Firm. That always stuck with me for some reason. Props to everyone that did decide to run with me this year and those who will be running with me in 2009. Also props to those who don’t run with me but do get their run on. “Real Recognize real and ya’ll looking familiar.”

2009 Goals:
I started working on my new year goals in November. One of them I’ve already accomplished. It was more so a physical benchmark I was trying to reach. Those who knew me back in the “big boned” days know the difference.
Sidenote: Jacks I’m gonna really need you to burn those super fat pics. I’m not embarrassed that I used to be a chubby kid but those pics are just overboard.

I always have so much on my mind but I’m going to try and channel it more into a microphone and less on blogs. I feel like I say too much on here. That’s until I find Mrs.Phella. Then I’ll just tell her all my thoughts while we count bags and bags of illegal cash (sort of a joke).

Speaking of microphones. Got a mega-super duper-blow your socks off-wish I could say it right now type of announcement about my music coming in the end of January.

Speaking of January. I’m excited to get to work on the N.E.P.H.E.W project. Add one more Chicago MC to your list please. Big ups to his manager Rico as well.

I am extremely excited about the Firm and all we will be doing. 2009 is on track to be a breakout year for the company the way I see it.

In 2007 my focus was strictly about money and it was successful. In 2008 my focus was strictly about happiness and it was successful. In 2009 I’m hoping to achieve both simultaneously. I’m not even sure it’s possible but it should be a fun ride.

Also gotta get back to playing basketball again. If we do the summer team this year,I just might play.

Try to check on people more. Sick and tired of being yelled at for never calling,texting, or online messaging. I honestly care, just don’t like bothering people.

I WISH A HAPPY HAPPY NEW YEAR WITH MUCH LOVE AND SUCCESS TO EVERYONE OUT THERE .

Oh and remember. You are you and I AM PHELLA….hahaaaaaa gotta love corny phrases at the end of movies…I’m gone

Disclaimer:Just my thoughts. Just what I’m feeling at the time you know what I mean. Don’t sue me or throw a shoe at me.

Barack Obama I believe is the best example of advancing culture and doing things your way without losing the masses.I think creative people have been far more daring and risk taking as of late. Everyone wants to start a movement and revamp the culture. I credit most of it to a desire to not be boxed in and typecast as “one of the rest” since so many people write/model/sing/rap/act. We all know that settling for the status quo is never the way to go, however when you take a giant creative leap and fall flat (or appear to fall flat), you have no one to blame but yourself. It’s become too cliche to say “oh I just went over the audiences heads”. Sometimes this is the case but recently it’s more of a cop out creative people use when their work doesn’t connect with the masses. Maybe they do get “it” and just don’t like “it”. Maybe they do understand and appreciate your attempt but “it” didn’t suit what they expected.

Just yesterday I had a conversation with Jabari of HipHopGame and one of the things we discussed was how his recent short interview with Soulja Boy about beef was probably his most watched interview ever, while the lengthier more in depth second installment barely scratched 1000 views. We concluded at the end of the convo that it’s cool to do what you want to do, but if you want mass appeal you have to appeal to the masses.

When Jay-Z dropped Kingdom Come only die hard Jay-Z fans and people who were in a similar mind state enjoyed the album. Same with Kanye’s 808′s & Heartbreaks. If you are a Kanye fan or you just lost someone and know the feeling of heartbreak then that album is probably classic to you. If you were just in search of entertainment then you probably find both Kingdom and 808′s to be a bit on the boring/annoying side. Jay-Z and Kanye aren’t wrong for making what they felt like making but neither are you for stating that you didn’t quite enjoy it.

Even I went through this last month with my Sweatpants In The Club EP. I was going through so much that I needed to let out. I didn’t care about ill flows and slick metaphors. I just wanted to get my message across. Those who’ve followed Phella since day one and those who were going through similar emotions loved the EP. Those who were not gave it a so-so review. Not my fault, not theirs either. The problem comes in when the creative person gets upset with the fans or the fans get upset at the creator. Neither party is at fault in my opinion.

I believe the perfect balance is achieved when Kanye does College Dropout or Jay-Z does The Blueprint. Both albums appeal to casual fans who just want to hear nice tunes and the die hard ones seeking thought provoking music from their favorite act.

I won’t give away Seven Pounds but there’s really not much to give away. From the moment you walk in, you’ll know how it ends. The stuff that fills up the time between beginning and end had me checking my phone and dozing off periodically. I’m a die hard Will Smith fan and I like his work because it’s witty, action packed and thought provoking. This movie was only thought provoking and barely at that. It will appeal to people who can’t get enough of Will or people who have experienced the devastation of medical issues. To the casual fan seeking the entertainment of Men In Black or Independence Day, save your money.

“I can take Seven Pounds but it might confuse em/Cuz that ain’t the Happyness we like Pursuing”-Phella “So Real”…can you say prophecy?

Oh and with all that said I loved Kingdom Come,808′s & Heartbreaks plus I enjoyed (some parts of) Seven Pounds. I’m speaking for the people who don’t idolize Jay, Ye and Will.

When the homegirl Jamz sent a 1 minute video my way, she should’ve expected a 5 minute movie in return right?

Shout out to J.Rob and Jacks for their honesty. Couldn’t track down the old head who has witnessed my pool wizardry but I believe this shall suffice.

Sidenote:Seven Pounds is out in theaters in a few hours. I got all my workouts in from Sunday thru today just so tomorrow can be dedicated to watching that and eating whatever I feel like eating. Hopefully it doesn’t dissapoint…review coming soon.

Sidenote#2:What up to JT of Asap Music Group in Baltimore. Ya’ll get it in. Had a good time out there in Charm City minus this one weirdo who tried to bag me up…sorry player but I don’t do the midnight train to Georgia. Phelly Phell likes the ladies only.