Tag Archives: Am I The Only One Seeing This

400 Degreez

I never wanted to be famous, not even popular. Not even remotely known. Just wanted to get messages out, inspire people to be better and possibly profit from it in the process.

Those are the loudest thoughts going through my head as I write this 400th iamphella.com post. It’s been 3 years now and I sincerely thank you all who read what I write…thanks for sticking with me through the droughts, the highs, the lows and the in between. Thanks to those who left and came back. Thanks to those who are new. Thanks!

I’m far from famous and that’s the scary part. If I’m already feeling too known and too on the radar at this point, what’s going to happen as we go further? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for every fan, friend, and follower I gain; without that, these words would mean nothing. However, I wish there was a way to get my vision out without having to attach my name or face to so many things and so many people. I know the day is coming but it can’t come soon enough. I just want to make change in the world (using artistry, athletics and literary work), put change in the pockets of those I love, buy a few nice things and ride off into the sunset — only to be heard from when I absolutely have something useful to say.

I just feel like the world, in particular the young entertainment world, is so loud. Just noise everywhere. Everyone trying to out- “cool” and out- “grind” one another. So few actually cool. Even fewer actually grinding. Attention seeking is at an all-time high, regardless of the price we have to pay. I can’t blame people. We’re currently more lost than human beings have ever been. On a minutely basis we have all these things being thrown in front of us that distract us from the main goals in life. Even the most focused man or woman will occasionally give into the temptation…this week alone I’ve strayed from my eating habits twice, slept way past my 5AM wake up time all five days of the week, failed to make enough time for my spiritual practice and served my own interests far more than I did anyone else’s.

I guess I never realized just how bad it was because I’ve been in it for so long. But after two relatively noise-free months, to suddenly find myself conference calling while driving across state lines, while updating statuses is a reality check as to how crazy things can be. And like I said, this is just pre-game. The further into this year we get and with the hard work myself and people around me seem like we’re about to do, the calling, driving, and status updating only increases from here on out.

It doesn’t help that I’ve watched my favorite movie, “Carlito’s Way”, a few times. For those that don’t know, I’m convinced that minus a few differences, that character is me; that’s why I jokingly call myself Phellito sometimes. Basically a guy gets out of jail and swears to live a clean life; all he needs is to get his girl, get some money, and disappear to paradise. Unfortunately for him, he gets caught in a web of betrayal, not knowing who is who or what is what. Despite the change in mind frame, he’s still surrounded by people and things that bring the very kind of trouble he’s trying to escape. What can he do? It’s all he knows. That loyalty to “friends” and inability to completely separate from all things bad cost him everything. For me it won’t. I’ll say peace out to all worldly things before I allow myself to succumb to the pressures of them.

All that said, check out my latest videos (www.youtube.com/dafamcam), my two updated websites (www.dafaminc.com) & (www.dafamink.com), add me on Facebook: Tobi ‘Phella’ Alli, Twitter: @Phella. Damn.

The Opposite Of Success

Insecurity

Jealousy

Hate

Envy

Anger

“Me”

“I”

Misguided Emotion

Pride

Ego

“My way”

Lack of order

Opposition to leadership

Opposition to growth

Fear

Haste

Aggression

Thinking from a self-perspective

Unhealthy competition

Lack of respect — for self, for others, for history, for future

Lack of courtesy

Inability to let go

Thinking inside the box

Lack of restraint

Lack of self-control

Disbelief in the concept of team

Distrust

Envy

Inferiority Complex

Study most successful people, you won’t see any of these things.

Study most unsuccessful people, you will see a lot, if not all of these things.

Indifference

“All you’ll get from strangers is surface pleasantry or indifference. Only someone who loves you will criticize you.”

Be very weary of people who never have opinions or thoughts for you. Don’t be weary in the sense that they’re bad people, but understand that they probably don’t care about you too much. I go back to using children as an example. If you see your child, who you love so much, climbing a high place, you’ll probably scream at them to get down. The child may be upset at you for this but at least you weren’t indifferent. An indifferent person would let the child climb, fall, break his neck — then maybe, just maybe, call an ambulance.

I see it all the time in all aspects of my life. People are just too cool or too pre-occupied to care. They have no opinion, no feedback, no nothing.

The sad part about all of this is that most of us tend to seek to surround ourselves with indifferent people. I know I did at one point. “Man I love (so and so) cuz he don’t care about nothing.” Really? Is that a reason to love someone? The problem is that most of us don’t care for the truth. We’d rather seek a comfortable lie to live in and anyone who tries to take us out of it is seen as the enemy. The true enemy, however, is the person who won’t allow you or your career to be the greatest it can be.

Don’t believe me, look back at all the kids you knew growing up. Think of the ones who had no form of guidance and structure in their lives. The ones who ate whatever, drank whatever — stayed out till anytime of night. They were always classified as “cool”. We always envied them and said we wished we had parents like theirs. I don’t know about your neighborhood, but from mine, every last one of those people are either dead, in jail, or even worse: alive with no possibility of a successful future. That’s the outcome of years and years of indifference.

If you want to get in shape, you get a physical trainer that stays on you and makes you eat healthy and workout. You don’t get an indifferent person who allows the occasional triple cheeseburger or the half mile run that was supposed to be four miles; that would be senseless. Same applies to every other aspect of life. Surround yourself with indifferent people and yes it may be convenient, but trust, you’ll end up in very bad shape in the long run.

Emergency Blog: She’ll Only Truly Rest In Peace If…

aiyana

She’ll only truly rest in peace if we fight.

I try not to write or speak with emotion in fear of saying, not the “wrong thing”, but the thing that will distract from the main issue. The main issue here is this:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

The above is part of The Declaration of Independence; published and agreed upon by the founding members of this country over 230 years ago. In short, it says that we as a nation are entitled to liberty, the pursuit of Happiness, and certain other civil rights. That a Government is put in place to ensure that we maintain these rights. That if ever a time were to come when these self-evident truths weren’t upheld by the Government, we as the people reserve the right to “change” it till we feel safe and happy again.

I wonder who reads the story of Aiyana Jones and feels safe and happy. A beautiful 7 year old girl awoken from her sleep during a police raid and shot in the forehead in front of her grandmother; brain left on the couch for good measure. This wasn’t a movie, although a camera was rolling for a popular tv show, this was real life. Real life. The one you and I live in. The one you and I already have or may one day bring children into.

This isn’t black and white anymore. I see white people and every other race suffering just as much as we do. This is us. We’ve become so blinded as a society that we don’t even see anything anymore until something drastic happens. We’re so distracted by things that don’t matter that Aiyna Jones will be subjected to a few courtesy R.I.P’s on social networking sites, a few like myself will write about it and speak with friends about it, then next week we’re right back to grabbing popcorn to watch “The First 48″; the show that was allegedly being taped when this young girl was murdered in cold blood. The show that we find so comical and pleasurable.

I’ve never seen the entertainment in people killing each other. I definitely don’t see the entertainment in people telling on those who kill each other. I also see no entertainment in a system that one can argue is designed for us to kill and be home by 8pm to watch our own death on a new 50 inch LCD screen. That’s what we’re doing. We’re killing ourselves and watching it. A lot of us are even enjoying it. When I say killing, I don’t mean literally. I mean in the sense that when growth and progression is what’s expected but instead regression occurs, that’s a killing. A killing of what could be and what could’ve been.

Aiyana Jones could have been a mother and wife someday. Perhaps even the next President, but we’ll never know. Not due to the negligence of one idiot police officer, but due to our own negligence. We’ve neglected the fact that life is a fight. We came in here fighting and we should leave fighting. No one just popped out of their mother’s womb in an effortless manner; we fought to live. When you stop fighting, you die. Yes we now have fast internet, music we no longer have to purchase, and self-glorifying social media tools to distract us. So the struggle is over huh? As long as “I’m getting mine”. None of us is getting ours unfortunately. All we’re getting is closer and closer to complete destruction.

The only way Aiyana Jones and all who’ve fallen victim  to a system that disregards the self-evident truths we’re entitled to will truly rest in peace, is if we fight. I realize not everyone sees things like I do. If I see a problem with a school, I fight it and leave it if need be; label me a dropout. If I see a problem at home, I fight it and leave it if need be; label me a homeless man. If I see a problem with a young lady I’m involved with, I fight it and leave her if need be; label me a control freak. (Note: I said leave, not run away. Leaving implies that the fight will continue just from a distance which is necessarry sometimes to maintain civility.) I’ll take any label except that which so many of us are boldy wearing on our chests – LOST. We’ve lost sight of the fights. We’ve lost sight of the fact that we’re obligated to fight. We ridicule those who still believe in fighting. If ever we do fight, it’s in the name of hurting the wrong enemy or trying to appear strong in front of a misguided audience.

As Lupe Fiasco put it:

Explained all their rules in Roots
But not enough to incriminate
just enough to demonstrate
Why they confused as mutes
Are easily consumed with hoops
Spar greedily for cubes and refused the truh
Followers, easily subdued by flutes
Swallowers, of anything the bandwagon hands them

Four bars of brilliant wordplay to essentially say that we’re lost. He’s coming from a pro-black perspective but believe me, it applies to every race. It’s just more shameful for us black people because of how hard we had to knock to get in the door; only to walk in and lose sight of why we ever wanted to be inside in the first place.

The only saving grace is that as far as we can see, life is a never ending season. Several players are called off the field like Aiyana Jones was but the season itself keeps going. We have every opportunity to turn things around. To do so we don’t need to wear all black and put our fists in the air. We don’t have to blow up or burn anything down. We don’t even have to write letters. We just simply have to look in the mirror on a daily basis and ask ourselves what is worth fighting for and then fight for it. If you ignore laws that make it permissible for officers to enter houses and shoot a little girl, believe me, one day an officer will enter a house and shoot a little girl.

I hope that in the midst of feeling sorrow and anger for  what happened to Aiyana Jones and her family, we take it as an opportunity to feel sorrow and anger for ourselves. For allowing ourselves to become so weak that we invest so much time on trivial matters that the true injustices we should fight go unnoticed. PLEASE UNDERSTAND. Life is to be enjoyed. We should enjoy our technology. We should sing, dance, and play as often as possible. We should try to acquire finances so we can endulge in the luxuries that are available. But that can’t be it. We have to fight. Fight the urge to destructon disguised as entertainment. Fight the urge to scream for peace and live lifestyles that bring the complete opposite. Fight for Aiyana and everyone else who died becase we didn’t fight.

The Art Behind Winter Wonderland

Okay here we go. The album is called Winter Wonderland: Enjoying Living In A Cold World. Hopefully you’ve watched my videos or you’re at least thinking on a deep enough level to know that it has nothing to do with the actual weather. It’s about life itself and how cold and harsh it can be. How the only way to enjoy it is to sustain through those cold periods and even find ways to enjoy them.
img_14461This first picture is probably my favorite. There’s only two times in life where we can experience true Winter Wonderland; as a child, when you’re oblivious to just how cold it is, or as a grown up, when you accept that the world is cold but you embrace it and find ways to make it work for you.
img_1505
img_1561The second and third photos show that it takes a good amount of creativity to enjoy living in a cold world. It reminds me of when kids in third world countries play soccer barefoot or swim like Michael Phelps in the dirtiest of water. The harshness of their surrounding doesn’t bother them. Instead they make the best of it and turn it into wonderland. That’s what we did by turning snow into a baseball and a football.
dsc_1685 The final picture simply shows the endurance and patience. It’s naïve to say the coldness of the world doesn’t get to us. Even the strongest of us can crack under the world’s pressures. However, if you endure and stay true to who you are, warmth is usually just around the corner. This is depicted in this photo by the snow melting away and the sun on the horizon.

Fresco, Matt, and Chris did a great job helping me illustrate this concept and I truly believe that I did my best job as an artist of getting this concept across on the 8 or 9 tracks you will hear. I did it in such a way that if you’re the type who skimmed through this entry, you’ll enjoy it, and if you’re the type who read and understood every word of this entry, then YOU’LL LOVE IT.

Whether you enjoy it, love it, or even hate it, which I doubt anyone will, it’s my life and it’s our life on audio so I hope that at the very least you appreciate it.

I appreciate it.

-Phella

Plan For Attaining Moral Perfection Pt.1

“It was about this time I conceived the bold and arduous project of arriving at moral perfection. I wish’d to live without committing any fault at any time; I would conquer all that either natural inclination, custom, or company might lead me into. As I knew, or thought I knew, what was right and wrong, I did not see why I might not always do the one and avoid the other. But I soon found I had undertaken a task of more difficutly than I had imagined.” (Excerpt from The Autobiography of Benjamin Franklin).

LOST

lost
Thanks to Netflix I recently discovered the tv show “Lost”. It’s probably one of the greatest things I’ve stumbled into this year. The amount of detail and precision with which the characters lives are unveiled is something to behold. There’s so much backstory and so many subplots that you can’t help but tune in episode after episode. No human emotion goes untouched. The show definitely isn’t for the faint of heart.

Luckily for me I don’t have to face the suspense that TV viewers must have had to deal with. Since I’m catching on 5 years late, I can watch an entire season in 3 days which is what I did last week. 25 full episodes in 3 days and it was worth every minute.

No More Raymond, Back To Chris…








Raymond (Everybody Loves)….Chris (Everybody Hates)

Normally when I leave places I’m usually excited to be going back home. Not this morning. I wish I could stay longer, the A was great to me and I see why everyone thrives down here. They all stick together and EVERYBODY hustles. Whether legal or illegal, everyone makes money together.

The wait at Gladys Knights Chicken and Waffles was 2 hours and people stayed. Saw a guy at A-Town day with a duffel bag full of money, just from printing up his own street magazine and selling it hand to hand. All the local artists perform and promote each others songs. It’s really good to see and I think if we adopted this attitude up top, we could be doing the same. I’m not gonna hold my breath on that one.

Still got love for home though, it’s just disappointing when you know what is and you see what can be.

Thanks ATL for having me, I’ll be back in a little bit.

Chi-Ca-Go


Looks like it’s gonna be a windy spring and summer out here. I’m really looking forward to working some artists out of Chi town which seems to be the only place up north that still breeds creative minds as far as hip-hop is concerned.

Nephew is priority number 1. (Pictured above with Sickamore after his first meeting with us.)

About a month ago I posted a freestyle he did over the Just Blaze “Why You Hate The Game” instrumental and the response was great. Many people hit me on the email asking for where they can hear/see more Neph. Well here’s two brand new joints from him. And look for him to be featured soon on our “Life Is Better When You’re Famous” mixtape.

Nephew-Same Thing
Nephew-What More Can I Do


The next guy I’ve been a fan of for minute now. You’re probably a fan too and don’t even know it. He’s the soulful voice behind most of Lupe Fiasco’s tracks. His name is Gemstones. He was featured on Lupe’s “Pressure” featuring Jay-Z. He also was on about four or five tracks on “The Cool” album. Besides backing Lupe with vocals, Gem is a vicious rapper in his own right. I tell people that I can’t remember seeing anyone that can sing and rap on a high level the way he does, it’s usually one or the other.

His last two mixtapes are absolute classics that if you’re a hip hop head or RnB head, you can’t go wrong with. My first meeting with him (Pictured above with Nikki Jean) was nearly two years ago and if all lines up you will be seeing Gemstones and the Firm doing some things in the near future. Below are some of my favorite tracks of his.

Gemstones-I Love Her (My Most Played On Itunes)
Gemstones back when he was Gemini MURDERING Cam’s “What Mean The World To You”

"If It Isn’t Love"-Ralph Tresvant



Maaaaaan, Keyshia you know I’m a sucker for a nice smile. Why must you tease me this way? Props to Necole Bitchie on the photos.