It’s been fun spending most of my summer with the cool kids over at Tumblr, but class is back in session for me and not a moment too soon. I enjoy the freedom of posting random songs, photos of people and things that catch my eye, sharing some of my own art, and interjecting short thoughts here and there. However, if you’re a writer, you must write. Some like my friend here and my other friend here are able to write freely on a forum like Tumblr with no problem. For me, however, I need this little hub we’ve created over the years. There’s history here. 400 plus posts worth. And it’s Summers end, and it’s the brink of Fall, and I’m 9 days away from my 24th birthday. Overall I just feel a big transition period coming and I wanna document it. I wanna share my learning’s along the way in the hopes that you’ll take something from it as usual.

Thanks to all those who have basically commanded me to start writing again. I thought I was done and I honestly wanted to be done but when you have a responsibility to do something, what you want really doesn’t matter. Sharing my inner most thoughts when life gets as interesting as it’s gotten over the past few months isn’t the most comfortable thing on earth but I live for discomfort. It usually leads to great comfort. So let’s rock. Thanks for caring.

Peace + Luv

P.S. The tumblr ain’t going nowhere. Still plan on being active there. But you know, home is home.

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I never wanted to be famous, not even popular. Not even remotely known. Just wanted to get messages out, inspire people to be better and possibly profit from it in the process.

Those are the loudest thoughts going through my head as I write this 400th iamphella.com post. It’s been 3 years now and I sincerely thank you all who read what I write…thanks for sticking with me through the droughts, the highs, the lows and the in between. Thanks to those who left and came back. Thanks to those who are new. Thanks!

I’m far from famous and that’s the scary part. If I’m already feeling too known and too on the radar at this point, what’s going to happen as we go further? Don’t get me wrong, I’m thankful for every fan, friend, and follower I gain; without that, these words would mean nothing. However, I wish there was a way to get my vision out without having to attach my name or face to so many things and so many people. I know the day is coming but it can’t come soon enough. I just want to make change in the world (using artistry, athletics and literary work), put change in the pockets of those I love, buy a few nice things and ride off into the sunset — only to be heard from when I absolutely have something useful to say.

I just feel like the world, in particular the young entertainment world, is so loud. Just noise everywhere. Everyone trying to out- “cool” and out- “grind” one another. So few actually cool. Even fewer actually grinding. Attention seeking is at an all-time high, regardless of the price we have to pay. I can’t blame people. We’re currently more lost than human beings have ever been. On a minutely basis we have all these things being thrown in front of us that distract us from the main goals in life. Even the most focused man or woman will occasionally give into the temptation…this week alone I’ve strayed from my eating habits twice, slept way past my 5AM wake up time all five days of the week, failed to make enough time for my spiritual practice and served my own interests far more than I did anyone else’s.

I guess I never realized just how bad it was because I’ve been in it for so long. But after two relatively noise-free months, to suddenly find myself conference calling while driving across state lines, while updating statuses is a reality check as to how crazy things can be. And like I said, this is just pre-game. The further into this year we get and with the hard work myself and people around me seem like we’re about to do, the calling, driving, and status updating only increases from here on out.

It doesn’t help that I’ve watched my favorite movie, “Carlito’s Way”, a few times. For those that don’t know, I’m convinced that minus a few differences, that character is me; that’s why I jokingly call myself Phellito sometimes. Basically a guy gets out of jail and swears to live a clean life; all he needs is to get his girl, get some money, and disappear to paradise. Unfortunately for him, he gets caught in a web of betrayal, not knowing who is who or what is what. Despite the change in mind frame, he’s still surrounded by people and things that bring the very kind of trouble he’s trying to escape. What can he do? It’s all he knows. That loyalty to “friends” and inability to completely separate from all things bad cost him everything. For me it won’t. I’ll say peace out to all worldly things before I allow myself to succumb to the pressures of them.

All that said, check out my latest videos (www.youtube.com/dafamcam), my two updated websites (www.dafaminc.com) & (www.dafamink.com), add me on Facebook: Tobi ‘Phella’ Alli, Twitter: @Phella. Damn.

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About 12 hours till I officially turn 23. In certain aspects, I’m surer than I’ve ever been. In other aspects, I’m more unsure than I’ve ever been.

Back home. My brother is growing into a man and it’s interesting. I’m being careful not to do to him what my father did to me, which is to not acknowledge my growth. People mature and their interests change. To treat them the way you used to treat them only causes separation.

My mother is funny. When you call her phone — now instead of a regular ring — you hear the sounds of Eminem’s “Not Afraid”. She knows more about pop culture than me. If you’ve ever thought of me as fly or cool, that’s where it comes from. She’s cool. But the best thing I think I gained from her is how to turn a little into plenty. You don’t need a lot to do a lot; $100 can be $1000 if you know what you’re doing.

Friday I was surrounded by models, bottles, and half of my high school. Had fun, but in a sleepy-I’m-really-not-here type of way.

Last night I was in the midst of some of my favorite NBA players and some of the most beautiful women you’ll ever see. Had fun, but in a sleepy-I’m-really-not-here type of way.

I wanna create. When I’m not creating, I’m pretty much incapable of fully enjoying anything.

The circle keeps getting smaller and smaller. Maybe it’s my fault for ignoring the Blackberry so much (see above picture). Maybe it’s their fault for not growing with me. Maybe it’s no one’s fault and it’s just natural to separate. The ones who come back are there to stay.

Had a good birthday dinner last night courtesy of my business manager, Kunle. We’re gonna take over the world…I just pray that I’m alive for it.

The next time we speak I’ll be older and hopefully wiser.

Peace + Love!

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Lately….

Been in a good groove and I ain’t trynna mess my thing up.

Reacquainting myself with spirituality and all things holy and clean. Entertainment business and business in general is filled with so much “dirty stuff”, for lack of a better phrase. Cheating, gossiping, greed, etc… If you don’t take time to step out of the box, you could easily get caught up and begin to accept these things as the norm. As most of us usually find out though, the norm is rarely the way to go.

Gotten more focused than ever on my reading and running….two things that will make you great in this world.

Been studying sounds. I’m a thousand billion percent sure that before it’s all said and done, I’ll have a hand in contributing life changing music to the world; whether it’s me or someone I work with remains to be seen. Either way, gotta stay prepared.

Not feeling too many people. I was telling a friend of mine the other day how I feel I know 3 or 4 truly real people. Not that everyone else is fake, but I mean 3 or 4 people who truly know who they are and find comfort in it. Everyone else just seems lost. Like they’re searching…searching for riches, searching for cool, searching for acceptance, searching for sex, searching for love, searching for attention, searching for whatever. I’m no one to judge because I once used to search too, but then I found that all I really need in this world is myself. Work on myself and all the rest will come.

Spent some quality time with my team and extended team. It feels good to be around people who know in their heart of hearts that they’re going to win. They trust you, you trust them, and things seem to work out for the best. Hope it stays this way.

Thinking it’s best I stay single forever. These girls man………………

Getting my basketball game up. I’m like THIS close to dunking.

Awaiting the return of Fall/Winter. Summer is cool but I’m sick of sweating and sick of t-shirts. I wanna break out my sweater and jacket game.

Appreciating New York City. When I first moved to New Jersey back in April, I hated NYC with a passion. I was trying to do things my way and it wasn’t working. Parking wherever I felt like, not wearing seat belts, running lights, etc… I quickly found out that it was either get used to the way things work here or go to jail. I opted to adapt and things have been going smooth. Johnny Law aside, New York is truly a great place and has some good people amidst all the fast walking and reckless driving.

Till next time,

Peace + Love

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The Video: Exclusive footage and photos that most of you have probably never seen unless you’ve been with me since day one.

The track: Produced by Wake.
Download Here

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If you walk into my apartment, all you’ll pretty much see are windows, open space, and water bottles; I do own a Playstation 3 but no games for it. To most this may seem like a recipe for boredom but for me it’s an opportunity to challenge my mind and my body. I’m hardly home but when I am, I’m reading, working on music, working on marketing plans, or doing these insane (Insanity Workouts), and sometimes I videotape them to see what they look like. I don’t want my mother seeing me half naked on the Internet (sorry ladies) so this picture will have to suffice for you to get the idea.

Sidebar: Am I going bald?

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Summer is refusing to officially start this year. We’ve had some warm days but for those part it’s been nothing but clouds and gloomy weather, especially here back home in DC where I’m writing this. You know me though, I even had a song called “Summer In My Mind”; doesn’t matter what it looks like outside.

So here’s my Top 5 Summertime goals. I’m putting out there in the world because I believe that’s the most effective way to make things happen. If you can help, holla!

1) Learn how to swim. My aunt asked me yesterday if I knew how to swim and I shamefully had to tell her no. I get that question at least twice a year and it shames me to say no. Especially because I remember vividly taking an intense swimming class when I was 5 or 6 years old? What did they teach us, how to not swim? Swimming just seems to time consuming and something you do when you’re very young or very old. But those are excuses. Nothing is gonna stop me from becoming Michael PHELps this Summer.

2) DUNK A BASKETBALL. I swear this has been my goal the past three Summers. I always start off good and then due to time and other factors, I get sidetracked. Not this year. I haven’t even started practicing my jumping yet. I’ve just been getting back into the swing of my workout/diet so I can be light by the time June 1st rolls around. If that’s any indicator, this is my year. I’ve dropped a significant amount of weight over the past two weeks and my metaboloism as at an all-time high. In other words, I’ma be jammin baby, I’ma be jammin!

3) Start my book. I want to write two books before it’s all said and done. One biographical type, and the other a self-help kind of book. I’ve done this blog on and off for a little over two years and I’ve said A LOT. I thank all of you for reading, commenting, and absorbing my thoughts and using it how you wish. My plan is to take the top 50 entries out of the 600+ I’ve done and kind of break them down. It’s going to simply be called iamphella.com and will also include the story behind why I started this, why I stopped at one point, and why I started again. Real quick and simple read but I feel those with $10 to spare will be able to benefit. We’ll have it for sale on Da Fam Inc site and if I’m aggressive enough, maybe in stores.

4) Learn Italian. This is the least likely to happen so maybe I should just scratch it off now. Least likely because I don’t think I really even want to do it anymore. I still plan on visiting Italy early and often once I’m financially able to do so but as for speaking the language, I think I can do with out it. So scratch this off my list.

5) Meet and Marry Ciara. Hope no one finds this funny because I don’t. I’ve always had a thing for Ciara but recently it’s just gotten out of control. She has this happy spirit that is rare. It’s not about money or success or anything. You just see someone that’s very confident in who she is and wants to enjoy life. I think I can help her enjoy it even more. Obviously she’s used to the finer things and I’m in the process of getting my weight up so that might slow down the marriage. But at least let me meet her and let her know what’s up.

There it is. 1 man. 5 goals. 1 Summer. Let’s do it.

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Lately I’ve been fatigued a lot. It’s funny because the more tired I am it seems the more energy I get. I guess I feed off the fact that I’m tired for a reason and until that reason is fulfilled, I gotta keep going.

Lately I’ve been preparing for this Black Box Experience kickoff in DC on Monday May 3rd. The Black Box Experience is simply the birthchild of allowing yourself to be great. Simply put, the Black Box Experience is a new and exciting way of unveiling products, people, and concepts to the public. Like with each endeavor, it’s open to all who want to be a part of it. You can show interest by attending on Monday or by contacting us through the website.

Lately I’ve been encountering A LOT of people that I used to know. Used to know meaning we once were close then kind of lost track or sight of one another over time. I’ve enjoyed it. It’s always cool to see these people and see that they’ve kept on progressing in life. Nothing worse than seeing a person after a long period of time and they’re exactly the same or doing even worse than before. At that point it’s just sad because you’re defying nature….nature is set up for us to grow and improve.

Lately I’ve been writing all my tasks down again. I used to do it every single night faithfully and then stopped for some reason. When I stopped, things became very chaotic. “Damn I was supposed to call so and so at 2pm and now it’s 1am” or “damn, I didn’t eat lunch and now I’m about to either starve or eat something crazy for dinner”. Keeping a strict list of the days tasks has left me with more time than I know what to do with. Hence why I have time to write this blog. You should try it.

Lately I’ve been doing a much better job of balancing family with professional life. Even though when I was back home this past weekend I only spent 30% of the time with the fam, I at least made that 30% count. And made them aware that the other 70% is for them.

Lately I’ve been trying to watch my sugar intake. Not for any reason other than I don’t like being addicted to anything and I know for a fact that I’m addicted to anything sweet.

Lately I’ve been……………nah that’s a bit too personal.

Peace!

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I love being in studios. Especially ones with creative and energetic people. There’s a certain vibe people give off when they believe in what you’re doing and even if they don’t see the entire vision, they see enough that they want to help you get it out. It’s a great feeling for someone like me who comes from being the only one in the room who sees something and having to generate my own energy from within because everyone else is staring at me like I’m wasting time. It’s easy to believe in yourself AFTER everyone else believes in you, but believing yourself BEFORE everyone else does is the true test. I don’t think that’s grammatically correct — it’s 6AM so pardon me.

I’ve spent less time in actual recording settings than probably any other serious artist on the face of this earth. Just never had the resources or time to be in a studio for hours upon hours. So I will admit that I’m behind the curb as far as familiarity with recording, breath control (as you see in the video above), and things of that nature. If you know anything about me though, I pretty much get a late start on everything in life…..and then I pretty much always catch up…..then I pretty much always keep going.

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