200 Miles And Running…..

Since I “moved” to New Jersey, I’ve probably spent about 20% of my time in the actual apartment. Call me a restless spirit but I need to be on the go every chance I get. I’ve been to Philly and a few other places but my destination of course is home (Washington D.C./PG County, MD). The amount of love and support, direct and indirect, I get here is unmatched. I feel like so many people are rooting for me; some whom I don’t even know personally. It feels good to just check in from time to time to let them know that we’re in this journey together and I’m not the one to get lost in the bright lights and forget what it’s all about.

Home is humbling, home is refreshing, home is relaxing, and luckily for me, home is only 200 miles away. Add that to the fact that my Newark apartment is as open and empty as can be (by design and by circumstance), it’s necessary to check out of there and check-in to a more welcoming enivronment every now and then. I made a conscious effort to make it as uncomfortable as possible so I never lose sight of the fact that it’s work. No nice couch to lay on for hours, no excess food to snack on, none of that. Just a place to work to make the people 200 miles away proud.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged | Comments Off

Summer Summer Summertime……

“Here it is, a groove, slightly transformed…..” – Will Smith

Summer is refusing to officially start this year. We’ve had some warm days but for those part it’s been nothing but clouds and gloomy weather, especially here back home in DC where I’m writing this. You know me though, I even had a song called “Summer In My Mind”; doesn’t matter what it looks like outside.

So here’s my Top 5 Summertime goals. I’m putting out there in the world because I believe that’s the most effective way to make things happen. If you can help, holla!

1) Learn how to swim. My aunt asked me yesterday if I knew how to swim and I shamefully had to tell her no. I get that question at least twice a year and it shames me to say no. Especially because I remember vividly taking an intense swimming class when I was 5 or 6 years old? What did they teach us, how to not swim? Swimming just seems to time consuming and something you do when you’re very young or very old. But those are excuses. Nothing is gonna stop me from becoming Michael PHELps this Summer.

2) DUNK A BASKETBALL. I swear this has been my goal the past three Summers. I always start off good and then due to time and other factors, I get sidetracked. Not this year. I haven’t even started practicing my jumping yet. I’ve just been getting back into the swing of my workout/diet so I can be light by the time June 1st rolls around. If that’s any indicator, this is my year. I’ve dropped a significant amount of weight over the past two weeks and my metaboloism as at an all-time high. In other words, I’ma be jammin baby, I’ma be jammin!

3) Start my book. I want to write two books before it’s all said and done. One biographical type, and the other a self-help kind of book. I’ve done this blog on and off for a little over two years and I’ve said A LOT. I thank all of you for reading, commenting, and absorbing my thoughts and using it how you wish. My plan is to take the top 50 entries out of the 600+ I’ve done and kind of break them down. It’s going to simply be called iamphella.com and will also include the story behind why I started this, why I stopped at one point, and why I started again. Real quick and simple read but I feel those with $10 to spare will be able to benefit. We’ll have it for sale on Da Fam Inc site and if I’m aggressive enough, maybe in stores.

4) Learn Italian. This is the least likely to happen so maybe I should just scratch it off now. Least likely because I don’t think I really even want to do it anymore. I still plan on visiting Italy early and often once I’m financially able to do so but as for speaking the language, I think I can do with out it. So scratch this off my list.

5) Meet and Marry Ciara. Hope no one finds this funny because I don’t. I’ve always had a thing for Ciara but recently it’s just gotten out of control. She has this happy spirit that is rare. It’s not about money or success or anything. You just see someone that’s very confident in who she is and wants to enjoy life. I think I can help her enjoy it even more. Obviously she’s used to the finer things and I’m in the process of getting my weight up so that might slow down the marriage. But at least let me meet her and let her know what’s up.

There it is. 1 man. 5 goals. 1 Summer. Let’s do it.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged , , | Comments Off

Just In Case You Forgot Pt. 4

Posted in iamphella, videos | Tagged | Comments Off

Kicking It


I have a serious love/hate relationship with social networking (mostly hate) but I file it under ‘Necessary Evil’. I must admit though, there are some bright spots every now and then and one of them happened yesterday.  I was wrapping up my work day around 2pm and myself and my boy Zoe were looking for something to do. Well, he was; I’m just naturally entertained 24/7. But I was game for some fun. Joe Budden posted on his Twitter that he wanted to play kickball and anyone in the area that wanted to play should come through. He posted the address a few minutes later and it turned out the park wasn’t far from where I live in New Jersey so we decided to go.

We got to the park at about 4pm with no expectations at all; weren’t even sure if it was real or just a joke. Either way, I was there ready to destroy whoever stepped in my kickball path. Zoe plays basketball professionally so he was ready to compete too. As we pulled up, we saw Joe and an army of fans dangling from his arm like the kickball Rocky. We knew it was on.

My team ended up losing both games so I’ll skip the play by play. What I will say is that losing aside, it was fun. I lost sight of the fact that I was playing kickball. I also lost sight of the fact that I was playing it against one of my top 5 rap artists of all-time. There wasn’t any agenda out there other than some people looking to enjoy themselves on a nice evening. Mission accomplished.

Joe’s current girl is video model Esther Baxter and she was the most surprising aspect of the whole thing. The chick is BAD!!!!!! Good looking females are a dime a dozen but she is BAD!!!!! Phyiscally of course, but also surprisingly intelligent and highly competitive. She treated kickball like Kobe is going to treat tomorrow night’s game against Phoenix. I can safely say she went from “the broad from the Freak A Leak video” to a woman that I respect now.

There’s talk of making it an ongoing thing; in anticipation of that, I’ll be at my local park practicing until further notice.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged , | Comments Off

Dress The Part

I think this is a very underrated part of living a happy and successful life. Life tends to follow patterns. I’m guilty of going through phases where things aren’t going the way I like them to so I grow my beard and my hair out, wear sweats all day, and generally lose every bit of flyness my mother instilled in me growing up. Not the way to go. Jay-Z once said, “in the midst of all your misery, stay fly n*gga”. Very true.

It might not be wise to go buy expensive jewelry or clothing while in a downward swing, but it’s important to maintain who you truly are even when things aren’t great. If you look like you’ve given up on life, you’ll give up on life. If you look like a successful person, you’ll be a successful person. I’ve always referred to haircuts as my “reset button”. A trip to my barber always turns things around for me and I guess it makes sense. When you look good, you feel good. When you feel good, you gain confidence. When you exude confidence, people buy into what it is you’re selling and you’re right back on the road to success.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged | Comments Off

Don’t Lose Sight Of The Angles

carlitos-way
My favorite movie of all time is Carlito’s Way. I think everyone that really knows me knows that. If I’m around, that film isn’t too far away. I like the movie for a bunch of reasons but mainly because I always felt that minus some of the Hollywood exaggerations, my life kind of mirrors Al Pacino’s character in so many ways. Also because of all the great quotes the movie provided. The best one in my opinion:

“If you can’t see the angles no more, you’re in trouble”. Carlito says this as he was playing pool with a bunch of young hustlers who he sensed were about to try and kill him. He saw the angles they were coming from and was able to take a proactive approach out of that situation.

phellitos-way-2

About a month ago I suffered a devastating loss at the Skc Pool Tournament. My very own best friend, who is like a brother to me, beat me and stopped my run to get the championship trophy. I honestly still think about it everyday. Not that I lost, but how I lost. I was playing great. I had a comfortable lead and just had to sink the 8-ball to win. It was hanging in the corner pocket which meant I had to just hit it from the right angle so the 8-ball drops while the cue ball stays on the table; a fairly easy shot to make as long as you realize the situation you’re in. I got distracted temporarily, rushed my shot, and the 8-ball dropped, then the cue ball dropped. In pool that’s called a “scratch”. A scratch on the final shot means you lose.

I didn’t lose because my friend played a better game. I didn’t lose because I’m a bad pool player. I didn’t lose for any reason other than the fact that I lost sight of the angles. Life can be easy or difficult depending on how well you play the angles. A guy like me tends to ignore the angles sometimes and just do what I please. That approach is fine as long as you know the angles are there; that way you can at least fix things before they spiral out of control. Trouble sets in when you don’t even observe the angles; don’t even know they exist. That’s when you begin to rush decisions and make terrible judgement calls. You start to “scratch”. In life, just like in pool, a scratch can prove deadly.

I think I’ve been losing sight of angles a lot recently. Not consciously either. Time to fix that. And just like with pool, the only way to notice the angles is to eliminate any and all distractions.

Be careful and pay attention to the angles.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged , , | Comments Off

Find Your Love Remix

phella-find-your-love

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Download

The story behind this is two fold. The inspiration behind it came from a conversation I had with a great young lady on Saturday. Conversation led to me realizing that sometimes the right people intersect at the wrong time. This person wants this, that person wants that, and a disconnect is inevitable. You gotta be mature enough to know that you’ve played your best game and the win just won’t come. Not because of a lack of effort but because you were playing the wrong game.

From a technical standpoint, Kanye West beats always pull words out of me. Even when I’m not in my “music zone”, I hear a Ye beat and immediately the words pop up in my head. So the day after my conversation I called up my engineer and went in and just said what was on my mind, hoping someone somewhere can relate. Drake absolutely did a great job on this and I just tried to take it back to the days of remixes when you would put a completely different hook and everything.

The visual is just extra.

Enjoy.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged | Comments Off

Emergency Blog: She’ll Only Truly Rest In Peace If…

aiyana

She’ll only truly rest in peace if we fight.

I try not to write or speak with emotion in fear of saying, not the “wrong thing”, but the thing that will distract from the main issue. The main issue here is this:

“We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness.”

The above is part of The Declaration of Independence; published and agreed upon by the founding members of this country over 230 years ago. In short, it says that we as a nation are entitled to liberty, the pursuit of Happiness, and certain other civil rights. That a Government is put in place to ensure that we maintain these rights. That if ever a time were to come when these self-evident truths weren’t upheld by the Government, we as the people reserve the right to “change” it till we feel safe and happy again.

I wonder who reads the story of Aiyana Jones and feels safe and happy. A beautiful 7 year old girl awoken from her sleep during a police raid and shot in the forehead in front of her grandmother; brain left on the couch for good measure. This wasn’t a movie, although a camera was rolling for a popular tv show, this was real life. Real life. The one you and I live in. The one you and I already have or may one day bring children into.

This isn’t black and white anymore. I see white people and every other race suffering just as much as we do. This is us. We’ve become so blinded as a society that we don’t even see anything anymore until something drastic happens. We’re so distracted by things that don’t matter that Aiyna Jones will be subjected to a few courtesy R.I.P’s on social networking sites, a few like myself will write about it and speak with friends about it, then next week we’re right back to grabbing popcorn to watch “The First 48″; the show that was allegedly being taped when this young girl was murdered in cold blood. The show that we find so comical and pleasurable.

I’ve never seen the entertainment in people killing each other. I definitely don’t see the entertainment in people telling on those who kill each other. I also see no entertainment in a system that one can argue is designed for us to kill and be home by 8pm to watch our own death on a new 50 inch LCD screen. That’s what we’re doing. We’re killing ourselves and watching it. A lot of us are even enjoying it. When I say killing, I don’t mean literally. I mean in the sense that when growth and progression is what’s expected but instead regression occurs, that’s a killing. A killing of what could be and what could’ve been.

Aiyana Jones could have been a mother and wife someday. Perhaps even the next President, but we’ll never know. Not due to the negligence of one idiot police officer, but due to our own negligence. We’ve neglected the fact that life is a fight. We came in here fighting and we should leave fighting. No one just popped out of their mother’s womb in an effortless manner; we fought to live. When you stop fighting, you die. Yes we now have fast internet, music we no longer have to purchase, and self-glorifying social media tools to distract us. So the struggle is over huh? As long as “I’m getting mine”. None of us is getting ours unfortunately. All we’re getting is closer and closer to complete destruction.

The only way Aiyana Jones and all who’ve fallen victim  to a system that disregards the self-evident truths we’re entitled to will truly rest in peace, is if we fight. I realize not everyone sees things like I do. If I see a problem with a school, I fight it and leave it if need be; label me a dropout. If I see a problem at home, I fight it and leave it if need be; label me a homeless man. If I see a problem with a young lady I’m involved with, I fight it and leave her if need be; label me a control freak. (Note: I said leave, not run away. Leaving implies that the fight will continue just from a distance which is necessarry sometimes to maintain civility.) I’ll take any label except that which so many of us are boldy wearing on our chests – LOST. We’ve lost sight of the fights. We’ve lost sight of the fact that we’re obligated to fight. We ridicule those who still believe in fighting. If ever we do fight, it’s in the name of hurting the wrong enemy or trying to appear strong in front of a misguided audience.

As Lupe Fiasco put it:

Explained all their rules in Roots
But not enough to incriminate
just enough to demonstrate
Why they confused as mutes
Are easily consumed with hoops
Spar greedily for cubes and refused the truh
Followers, easily subdued by flutes
Swallowers, of anything the bandwagon hands them

Four bars of brilliant wordplay to essentially say that we’re lost. He’s coming from a pro-black perspective but believe me, it applies to every race. It’s just more shameful for us black people because of how hard we had to knock to get in the door; only to walk in and lose sight of why we ever wanted to be inside in the first place.

The only saving grace is that as far as we can see, life is a never ending season. Several players are called off the field like Aiyana Jones was but the season itself keeps going. We have every opportunity to turn things around. To do so we don’t need to wear all black and put our fists in the air. We don’t have to blow up or burn anything down. We don’t even have to write letters. We just simply have to look in the mirror on a daily basis and ask ourselves what is worth fighting for and then fight for it. If you ignore laws that make it permissible for officers to enter houses and shoot a little girl, believe me, one day an officer will enter a house and shoot a little girl.

I hope that in the midst of feeling sorrow and anger for  what happened to Aiyana Jones and her family, we take it as an opportunity to feel sorrow and anger for ourselves. For allowing ourselves to become so weak that we invest so much time on trivial matters that the true injustices we should fight go unnoticed. PLEASE UNDERSTAND. Life is to be enjoyed. We should enjoy our technology. We should sing, dance, and play as often as possible. We should try to acquire finances so we can endulge in the luxuries that are available. But that can’t be it. We have to fight. Fight the urge to destructon disguised as entertainment. Fight the urge to scream for peace and live lifestyles that bring the complete opposite. Fight for Aiyana and everyone else who died becase we didn’t fight.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged , , , | Comments Off

I Like These People: The Smiths

I like these people. It’s no secret that I’m one of the biggest Will Smith fans/students on the planet. I think the guy is one of our greats and as far as I can see, he has a great family life to match. I’ve always seen his wife Jada as the ultimate ‘hold you down chick’; the type that will cuss you out and tell you she loves you in the same breath. We all need those.

I’m yet to watch this interview but I’m sure it’s worth the time. Enjoy.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged , | Comments Off

“You Just Gotta Keep Trying”

As people with pride, limitations, and resources that aren’t endless, we tend to have a threshold for how far we’re willing to go to get what we want. We all have that point where “enough is enough”. You’ve courted her for a year and she still won’t budge. You’ve applied 6 times, each time with an improvement to your resume and they won’t call back. You’ve done every workout known to man and that last bit of stomach refuses to tuck itself away. So now what, you stop trying?

There are two schools of thought on this. There’s one that says we should all know when to say when. There comes a point you have to be realistic and accept a situation for what it is. Some thing’s just aren’t meant to be. Then there’s the idea that if you want something, you go get it. Do whatever it takes. Expend every single resource. Go till you’re breathless. Throw pride and caution to the wind.

Myself personally, I subscribe to the latter; but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t understand the former. How can Steve pursue Laura for so long and be turned down by her day in day out? How didn’t his little Urkel pride kick in and say “grow a set man”? I guess that’s just how bad he wanted her. He was willing to try for the rest of his life if he had to. That’s TV. In real life, there comes a point where time catches up with us. Finances catch up with us. So many factors kick in that make it very difficult to continue trying. I think that point is called “The Dip” according to author Seth Godin.

“The Dip” is simply about when it’s time to push harder or when it’s time to quit. According to Godin, “winners do quit and quitters do win.”

I think what I’m trying to say is that only you know when you’ve hit a “dip” (the point where it seems it’s time to quit but really what you need to do is push harder) or when you’ve hit a “cul-de-sac” (the point where no matter what you do, there is no progress to be made). Winners are those who can quickly identify “the dip” from “the cul-de-sac” before it’s too late. Life is full of obstacles and roadblocks. If everything we wanted came so easy, we wouldn’t want them; that’s just the way it works. My inclination is that we don’t choose those things which we should pursue relentlessly; they choose us. It’s a feeling thing. Logic will no longer be applicable. You’ll feel like to give up on this thing would be to lose a piece of yourself. Life would no longer be worth living. At that point, you just gotta keep trying.

Posted in iamphella | Tagged , , , | Comments Off