It’s 2 in the morning. For the first time since I moved here to New Jersey, I fell asleep in the living room, on the uncarpeted floor, at 10pm nonetheless. I think if someone walked in, they would have thought for sure that I OD’d on something, but I didn’t. Just exhaustion is what that was — or like my man Carlito would say, “tired baby…tired”.

Since I’m up and sleep is nowhere in sight, let’s jot down some thoughts I may or may not regret in the morning.

• More and more I’m coming to terms with the fact that a lot of people don’t want IT, at least not the way I want IT. I can’t really define IT, but whatever IT is, comes at a price many just aren’t willing to pay. This shouldn’t be news to me but I’m one of those naive people that believes in everyone and believes everyone wants to, can be, and will be great. Laziness, ego, pride, and a few other factors will be the demise of many. Ego and pride, I may have, but they are non-factors when it’s time for me to do what I need to do. I’m no genius, but I am smart enough to know that there are plenty of obstacles in life — self-imposed ones only make the journey that much more difficult.
• Speaking of self-imposed obstacles, one day I’ll share all that has been going on with me the past 3 weeks or so. It’s going to be good. That’s why I can sit here and talk about it in gest, because I know there’ll be a day that it will all be a distant memory and just one more “I remember when” story that I can tell. Stay tuned for that…
• I watched Jada Pinkett Smith’s new show “Hawthorne” earlier and it was good. The Smith family is doing big business right now and I think it’s cool how Will goes harder for his people than himself. He was in full Obama campaign mode for his son’s “Karate Kid” movie and the same now for his wifes show; a big reason why both are extremely successful.
• On a professional note, I’ve found one or two big pieces to my puzzle recently. I know I think every piece to the puzzle is big — that’s just my nature, but these people are like the ones that you say in your VH1 story that the day you met them, your life became that much better. I’m willing to bet on it. Time will reveal I suppose.
• On a personal note, ………………………………………. I don’t know why I find it difficult to talk personal stuff on here now. In my earlier days, I would just say whatever with no censor. I guess something’s are better just left unsaid, at least for a while. I will say that I’m a happily single man, focusing only on my career and nothing else. That last sentence is untrue, I think.
• Still going hard as ever with the workouts lately. Sometimes as much as three times a day. I don’t know if my body is adjusting but I know for sure that my mind is. I’m becoming a robot again, which is pretty good news. A robot in the sense that only the strongest of things can move me. Everything else, I’m sort of just numb and oblivious too. I wouldn’t recommend that way of living to everyone; we’re human, we should feel. It’s just sometimes your environment is such that feelings get in the way and it may ocassionally require disconnecting the feelings wire to survive.
• Congratulations to Drake on all those albums sold. The “Thank Me Later” project was solid; I purchased it. I’ve been seeking that groundbreaking debut album like Kanye’s or 50 Cent’s and I’m yet to find it. I’d say Kid Cudi’s project last year was probably the closest to a great debut that I’ve heard. Drake stuck with a formula that he had tested out already and executed it just well enough that you can’t say he had a bad album. I’ll thank him later, when he elevates to a musical plateua I know he can reach. His least selling album will probably be his best. This one was done with the cash registers in mind.
• Peace!